a thousand screaming yuppies

it’s just not right for a little girl to love a hairless pony

[a thousand screaming yuppies @lexiiicon]

dad: what are you doing?
me (looking at pictures of steak on my phone): reading articles

[a thousand screaming yuppies @lexiiicon]

if we are friends on facebook please ignore me, i’m a businesswoman now

[a thousand screaming yuppies @lexiiicon]

@sherzogNL corner 21 always. hot crisp fish, cumin lamb, and green beans with minced pork!follow with bruleed cheesecake from jim’s. breakfast at sleepy possum in the morning!

[a thousand screaming yuppies @lexiiicon]

got a pedicure who wants them feet pics

[a thousand screaming yuppies @lexiiicon]

self care is actually renting the princess diaries and eating a very normal and definitely not excessive amount of mcdonald’s

[a thousand screaming yuppies @lexiiicon]

apparently my mechanic gets flowers every week and gives them to a customer and i got them today 🥹

[a thousand screaming yuppies @lexiiicon]

laundry hack: leave your clothes in the dryer for a week and use it as your closet! you will eventually fold less clothes than you washed 🥰

[a thousand screaming yuppies @lexiiicon]

the experience of owning a raincoat is bringing it with you only to not use it or being like “damn, i wish i had my raincoat”

[a thousand screaming yuppies @lexiiicon]

decided to finally go on a bike ride with ian and immediately hurt my hip flexor walking in the grocery store?!?!
30 is rude

[a thousand screaming yuppies @lexiiicon]

@tepid_bathwater have you ever tried the coke at the national and bennett mexican villa? nectar of the gods

[a thousand screaming yuppies @lexiiicon]

#NewProfilePic

[a thousand screaming yuppies @lexiiicon]

methinks doctor

[a thousand screaming yuppies @lexiiicon]

am i gaslighting myself by googling PMDD symptoms or am i basically a doctor

[a thousand screaming yuppies @lexiiicon]

i based my march madness bracket on who has the cutest outfits and ended up picking the same winner as my boss, a person actually into sports

[a thousand screaming yuppies @lexiiicon]

please understand my pain regarding the fact that i just took a shit that looks exactly like the don’t tread on me snake but simply can’t bring myself to post it

[a thousand screaming yuppies @lexiiicon]

not fast food, but my beloved pizza flavored chicken nuggets are GONE

[emma lord @dilemmalord]

every girl is defined by their one lost love. and by that i mean the one fast food item that was discontinued without warning, subsequently ruining their life

[a thousand screaming yuppies @lexiiicon]

was it the blue toilet? it was probably the blue toilet

[a thousand screaming yuppies @lexiiicon]

we now have a WORKING FIREPLACE and i will never stop tweeting about my house

[a thousand screaming yuppies @lexiiicon]

lost a follower already 🥲

[a thousand screaming yuppies @lexiiicon]

@elvisfknchrist do not eat!!!!

[a thousand screaming yuppies @lexiiicon]

TOILET LIGHT

[a thousand screaming yuppies @lexiiicon]

🥹🏡