Olivia Simms

Cloudy with a chance of breakdowns

[𝐒𝐄𝐆𝐄𝐑𝐀 @segeramusic]

I am a:

⚪️ guy

⚪️ girl

🔘 dumb bitch

looking for:

⚪️ a boyfriend

⚪️ a girlfriend

🔘 an iced coffee

[Olivia Simms @libbysimms97]

@jamescroft99 You’ve been a disappointment since birth

[Olivia Simms @libbysimms97]

Planning my New Year’s Eve outfit has become too stressful so dressing gown it is

[Mjc @wolfonair1]

It’s crazy that you can make so much mental progress but the minute you have a bad day it’s scary how fast your mind goes back to square one

[Olivia Simms @libbysimms97]

@hannahcowps Hope you didn’t let them have any tequila

[Joseph Gordon-Levitt @hitRECordJoe]

Dropping in with a friendly reminder that Halloween is in 71 days. Just wanna make sure everyone has ample time to plan out a good costume.

Okay, that's it. You can all carry on with your day now...

[Olivia Simms @libbysimms97]

Imagine falling in love with someone then finding out they crush up their weetabix into the bowl

[Amy Fowler @AmyAbroad]

Doing my makeup on the train this morning and a random man told me he likes women to have a more natural look. I told him I like men to have a more silent look. 🤷‍♀️

[Satan @s8n]

It’s a lot harder to torture people nowadays since everyone actually enjoys being tied up and gagged.

[maura @painthands]

Remember Kiwi & his goth gf? Well now she's his goth wife and they have 4 beautiful half goth babies 💚💙🖤

[Olivia Simms @libbysimms97]

Me trying to sort my skin out by putting on a face mask is kinda like trying to fix a fully shattered window with sellotape

[Thoughts of Dog @dog_feelings]

sometimes. the human presses their noggin against mine. to figure out what i’m thinking. so i just think really hard. about how much i love them. and hope they figure it out

[shannon @shanowens98]

I’m:

⚪️ Gay

⚪️ Straight

🔘 Fine

[Satan @s8n]

LADIES imagine this: it’s 15 years from now. you’re dead, you’re in hell. You’re constantly tanned from the flames, you have no kids to look after. Life is good.

[𝙻𝙼𝙰 @_lesleyallan]

how to tell if they’re gettin bad again:

-sleepin to much or not at all
-eatin to much or too little
-being spaced out a lot
-rambling or not talkin at all
-losing track of time
-pushing people away
-avoiding eye contact
-always bein shaky
-sounding disinterested in everything

[Olivia Simms @libbysimms97]

Nothing like trying to light a match for about 30 seconds before realising you’re trying to light the wrong end of the match 🙄🙄

[samantha @costin_samantha]

y’all my friend just posted this on her story I’m deceased 😂😂😂 @bax_ashley