life of mildred

it’s kinda funny how i started this as a fucked up 17 year old.

[life of mildred @lifeofmildredd]

This time 10 years ago I was fighting for my life in hospital after not eating for days and then downing a bottle of red wine (stolen from my mum’s wine rack), ODing on paracetamol and codeine, smoking God knows what and slitting my wrists.

The scary part? I was only 15.

[life of mildred @lifeofmildredd]

I guess it is what it is.

[life of mildred @lifeofmildredd]

11 fucking years.

[life of mildred @lifeofmildredd]

Quiero correr y alejarme de todo.

[life of mildred @lifeofmildredd]

it’s that time of year again 💔

[life of mildred @lifeofmildredd]

I hope she makes you happy.

[life of mildred @lifeofmildredd]

for so long I swapped one addiction for another and called it sobriety

[Deepest Messages @deeepestmsgs]

I'm not sensitive, I'm traumatized.

[Words @itswords_]

“just checking up on you” means a lot.

[life of mildred @lifeofmildredd]

people don’t really know you.

[Eating Disorder Recovery @recoveryworlds]

No one has ever fully recovered and regretted it.

[life of mildred @lifeofmildredd]

the joke’s on me.

[life of mildred @lifeofmildredd]

To the ones who never left me, we've been down this road before.
I'm so sorry, I'm not sober anymore.

[life of mildred @lifeofmildredd]

I can’t believe I’m not dead

[life of mildred @lifeofmildredd]

Right. Time to sort my shit out.

[life of mildred @lifeofmildredd]

I’m way out of my depth.

[life of mildred @lifeofmildredd]

Lay in bed, just trying to hold it together. Trying to convince myself not to dismantle the pencil sharpener that’s in my desk drawer. I don’t need to do that. I haven’t done that for almost 5 years. Why is it that right now, even after all this time, there’s nothing I want more?

[life of mildred @lifeofmildredd]

This is exactly what happened. I fucked up. Big time 💔

[life of mildred @lifeofmildredd]

just remember that if you fuck it up again, your biggest dream in life gets taken away from you in an instant.

[life of mildred @lifeofmildredd]

Things got better, and then they got worse. A lot worse.

[life of mildred @lifeofmildredd]

Hahahha well if this isn’t me ffs

[Words @itswords_]

i will always say i’m fine as long as i can handle it.