Patty B

Here for a good time not a long time | VWL Enthusiast
If I tweeted, I’d tweet that.
#RealRecognizesReal

[Patty B @lifeofthepatty]

Started opening the car door for the guy I’m seeing, hope he catches on.
#LeadByExample
#PattysPosse

[Patty B @lifeofthepatty]

When he’s coming over tn but I started my “.” tdy so I don’t really know the point of the hangout anymore  
#WomanInAMansField
#PatttsPosse

[Patty B @lifeofthepatty]

He called me skinny so naturally I slept with him #GirlMath
#PattysPosse

[Patty B @lifeofthepatty]

Talking to a fb player and he just made fun of me for my height. Would it be distasteful to make fun of him for being a benchwarmer as a senior?
#ICantReachShelvesHeCantReachTheField #StillD1DTho
#PattysPosse

[Patty B @lifeofthepatty]

No one prepares you for the day your work husband gets a new job. Think I handled the ending of my two year relationship better than this ☹️
#WeStillHaveLinkedInConnection
#PattysPosse

[Patty B @lifeofthepatty]

You ever see the back of your head and think “yup, definitely didn’t get the recommended amount of tummy time as a baby” #ThanksMom
#PattysPosse

[Patty B @lifeofthepatty]

Did NOT leave a little mystery last night. I wear the cone of shame.
#YOLO #PattysPosse #BadBunny

[Patty B @lifeofthepatty]

Took a shower tdy and got asked by 3 guys in 10 mins why i’m all dazzled up. Didn’t have the heart to tell them nothing , I just washed my hair for the first time in a week. On the way to plans I don’t have
#Oops #PattysPosse

[Patty B @lifeofthepatty]

Do’s and dont’s of fall 2026:
Don’t: follow your dreams
Do: hook up with that coworker
#ThoseShouldBeFlipped #Oops
#PattysPosse

[Patty B @lifeofthepatty]

Starting to think I’d be a really great “bullpen pitcher” for my job. Put me in halfway through the day Monday and then give me the next 2 off for doing a good job. #Bullpen #HappyLaborDay #PattysPosse

[Patty B @lifeofthepatty]

Did too much last month had to move across the country #JustTakingPrecautions #PattysPosse

[Patty B @lifeofthepatty]

Gave my couch away yesterday. Cried as it drove off. #CryingOverInanimateObjects
#BetterThanCryingOverBoys
#PattysPosse

[Patty B @lifeofthepatty]

#ChickenFriedRice
#PattysPosse

[Patty B @lifeofthepatty]

He said he loved history so I made us that 💅💅 #StayVigilant
#PattysPosse

[Patty B @lifeofthepatty]

Life got too serious had to start listening to Rack City in the office.
#TooMuchRimMakeTheRideTooHard
#PattysPosse

[Patty B @lifeofthepatty]

Describe your weekend in one word, I’ll go first: Grape Vape

#OopsThatsTwo #PattysPosse

[Patty B @lifeofthepatty]

Just spent the past hour crying over the ending song in Disney’s Pocahontas.
#HappyFriday #PattysPosse

[Patty B @lifeofthepatty]

Was home for the week visiting my sister. Ain’t nothing like getting 2026 dating advice from the recently married.
#PattysPosse

[Patty B @lifeofthepatty]

When a guy takes your virginity make sure you take his vape, I think we value those in the same way.
#PattysPosse

[Patty B @lifeofthepatty]

Everyone in my family decided that 2026 was the year to get married. Meanwhile I hope to receive a mediocre half face pic of a guy in his 20s, otherwise known as a snapchat.
#PattysPosse