violet

[violet @lifeupdate]

I don’t wanna die today

[violet @lifeupdate]

friends please don’t self-harm

[violet @lifeupdate]

tw I started self-harming again but idk if this counts as a relapse or not yet and I haven’t decided how I feel about it

[violet @lifeupdate]

me vs trying to keep track of my twitters

[violet @lifeupdate]

intrusive thought: I want to die
Me: no you don’t 🙄

[violet @lifeupdate]

add on: I’m so happy I wrote this note to self because these intrusive thoughts came back today and I remembered this

[violet @lifeupdate]

I love him. I have rOCD & soOCD and intimacy-related PTSD. They are literally recurring unwanted obsessions about needing to know answers I don’t actually need to know and avoiding things.

[violet @lifeupdate]

I am triggered a lot because I’m in a serious relationship and confronting things I’ve never had to navigate before. NOT bc I don’t love my boyfriend

[violet @lifeupdate]

I am triggered a lot because I’m in a serious relationship and confronting things I’ve never had to navigate before. NOT bc I don’t love my boyfriend

[violet @lifeupdate]

I love him. I have rOCD & soOCD and intimacy-related PTSD. They are literally recurring unwanted obsessions about needing to know answers I don’t actually need to know and avoiding things.

[violet @lifeupdate]

this feels like that felt—

[because you have somebody]

oh.

if this feels like that did, then I was in love

[violet @lifeupdate]

sick of it all. I take one day after my first week back to school for me time and already feel like I wasted my whole weekend. I need a therapist by I need this goddamn number first and I can’t find it and I don’t have time to do anything at all ever

[violet @lifeupdate]

when u hold space for everyone including everyone on the internet and then wonder why ur so drained

[violet @lifeupdate]

so I’m a switch then, that’s cool

[violet @lifeupdate]

if ur super into women and a little into men, congrats ur bisexual

if you’re into every fuckin woman but still into like 3 men, you’re bisexual

✨bisexy queen✨

[violet @lifeupdate]

he knows this. he still loves you. he is dylan - he is always willing to help make you feel comfortable, why would this be any different? (it won’t be)

[violet @lifeupdate]

🎶 here I am, once again 🎶

so, me to me:

[violet @lifeupdate]

ocd brings intrusive thoughts, some of which re: sexuality. you are bisexual - you‘ve BEEN & have the potential to be attracted to both. your spd & ptsd make u overwhelmed by affection & touch (sex). your ocd doesn’t like fluids. this would likely happen either way. U do love him

[violet @lifeupdate]

current update: a content bisexual with a content pansexual boyfriend. very much attracted to women, but also very much in love with my otter. These things can co-exist

[violet @lifeupdate]

I told my boyfriend I’m attracted to girls and idk if I’m attracted to guys in the same way and he still wants to stay with me while I figure it out

[violet @lifeupdate]

Our future life is going to be great. I’m actually excited for the future. We both have realistic yet high hopes for it, together

[violet @lifeupdate]

not 24/7, but very often. I’m getting somewhere and getting better at trusting myself