kaia 𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ𐀔

#edtwt #shtwt (recovering..) | sw: 57kg ݁ᛪ༙ cw: 53kg ݁ᛪ༙ gw: 50kg ݁ᛪ༙ ugw: 45kg ݁ᛪ༙

[kaia 𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ𐀔 @lightestcheer]

IM GONNA FUCKING CRASH OUT I DECIDED NOT TO RELAPSE TO FASTING BC I STILL HAVE SOME FOOD LEFT FROM LUNCH THEN I CHECKED MY FOOD AND MY BROTHER ATE SOME OF IT AND I ALR BOUGHT SNACKS CUZ I FELT LIGHTHEADED

[kaia 𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ𐀔 @lightestcheer]

is this how failung recovery feels like

[kaia 𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ𐀔 @lightestcheer]

i hate that im an introvert i could have some gym friends and talk to them instead of immediately relapsing to fasting for days

[kaia 𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ𐀔 @lightestcheer]

should i stop going tk the gym

[kaia 𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ𐀔 @lightestcheer]

ok thats it im ghosting everyone my friend shared that the last time she ate was 24 hrs ago

[kaia 𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ𐀔 @lightestcheer]

i didnt knew i was that triggered to fall back to that kind of restriction til my period is delayed for a week now.. and i still dont have it

[kaia 𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ𐀔 @lightestcheer]

@bnnuyplld valid reaction 💔

[kaia 𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ𐀔 @lightestcheer]

making me want to go back to fasting for days but i cant workout if i do that instead im still eating if i need to and if i will js bc i will only eat protein

[kaia 𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ𐀔 @lightestcheer]

im getting triggered as my friend shared her weight loss 🧍‍♀️ we used to go to the gym together

[kaia 𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ𐀔 @lightestcheer]

@subarunot_suki ur funny im gonna follow u

[kaia 𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ𐀔 @lightestcheer]

do u guys know that there’s a diff bmi scales for asians? ive had ed for yrs and i never knew this until we discussed it..

[kaia 𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ𐀔 @lightestcheer]

is it valid to relapse in reaction to my friend saying she only ate this today or am i too sensitive

[kaia 𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ𐀔 @lightestcheer]

im lowkey recovering but my family are gymrat and my mom is an almond mom

[kaia 𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ𐀔 @lightestcheer]

i hate when my mom dont eat rice when were eating outside like idk it just triggers me to not wanting to eat

[kaia 𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ𐀔 @lightestcheer]

if i were not in my mood and be blunt i wouldve replied then get out bruh bc we’re here to eat

[kaia 𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ𐀔 @lightestcheer]

got home from a trip w my friend and her family and goddamn i felt attached to her cousins and it makes me cry that im not that close w my relatives as she is w hers

[kaia 𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ𐀔 @lightestcheer]

im doing pedicure rn and im scared if other ppl do it and now im bleeding im paranoid if I get anything from it, i can sue them right? 😭😭😭

[kaia 𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ𐀔 @lightestcheer]

my literal wish rn is to be able to eat a whole bucket of fries after exam without feeling guilty

[kaia 𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ𐀔 @lightestcheer]

i love fries so much i wish its dont have calories