bill

POV: Your dumb as rocks

[bill @lilbilleinstein]

Got wasted and spent the night on the pokemon slot machines. Lost everything. Still figuring out how to tell my son we cant afford his Growlithe anymore

[Justin @juss1700]

Justin Herbert win a playoff game or turn Japanese
Herbert:

[Daniel Jeremiah @MoveTheSticks]

My wife & my 19 yr old son are cleaning out his room. I overheard this conversation:

Wife- I’m getting rid of this golf ball.

Son- No!! That’s my hole in one ball.

Wife- You made a hole in one?

Son- Not yet. But I’m going to use that ball when I do.

[riddy @Caydenail4]

If you are low elo its because you are a fundamentally bad person with an egothat refuse to learn from his mistake. Like there isnt anything else to it. You are not a good human, you are selfish with an ego and dont want cooperate, society would be better without you

[josh @joshypooper]

situationship stabbed me but the police reported it as a domestic violence incident 👀 #ouushiii #whatarewe

[NOBUNAGA🇯🇵🏯_夏樹蒼依 @japan_nobunaga]

USA. A Mexican restaurant. We had not yet ordered anything, and the food was already arriving.

Chips. Salsa. Unrequested. Free.

I stopped the waiter. "We have not earned these."

"They just come with the table, man."

They come with the TABLE. In my land, hospitality is a debt. Every gift creates an obligation, weighed carefully, returned in the proper season with interest of feeling. Here, the gift arrives before you have even proven you can pay for dinner.

This is not an appetizer. This is a declaration: we trust you. Eat.

I ate with the gravity the moment deserved. And then — I must report this calmly — the basket emptied, and a new one appeared.

"Did we…?"

"Refill," the waiter said. "It's bottomless."

Bottomless. They have wells of salsa. The supply lines of this nation are beyond anything my ancestors imagined.

My friend warned me. "Don't fill up on chips, dude."

Too late. I had accepted three baskets. Honor demanded each one be finished — an unfinished gift is an insult. By the time my actual food arrived, I was a ruined man.

I was not hungry. I was not comfortable. I had been defeated by a courtesy.

Generosity that arrives before the request cannot be repaid. It can only be survived.

I know the rule now. I have made my peace with the basket. One basket. Two at the most.

Who am I deceiving. There is no number of baskets I would refuse. The trust of a nation is in that salsa, and I intend to honor all of it.

[Cades Attorney 💼👨🏾‍💼 @CadesAttorney]

Deaaron Fox

[DRUSKI @druski]

That Oldhead who never Grewup/Matured 😂

[brooklyn @borklean]

white people be like “stop hitting the nexus” in aram mayhem

[Yeezy Times @yzytimes]

"He dropped 3 albums at the same time"

[Emperor Bistronius @Bistronius]

@wannabejake9

[turd @goonageddon]

my broke buddy got twins on the way and he hit a $400 parlay the other night and ordered a parrot online

[Jeff Weiss @Passionweiss]

Future wrote "codeine crazy," "march madness," and "drunk in love." It's probably him and Bob Dylan for best living songwriter

[Underdog NFL @UnderdogNFL]

Panthers T Monroe Freeling on what he likes to do outside of football:

"Sometimes I like to donate golf balls to the water at local golf courses."

[Dolo 👁‍🗨 @e38]

Turned 30 and finally found my calling to join a gang. My big homie is 14 with a switch but he treats me good & sends me on store runs

[bigmacadamia55 @bigmacadamia55]

Watching a Steph heater you can almost understand how so many of his fans developed such severe psychological issues. It really does fry your fucking neurons even now at 37. I don't know how you'd go back afterward. It's like that myth that LSD is stored in the spine forever.

[nel @silicanel]

the live version being my favorite piece of live music ever
it can’t get any better

[LeBron James @KingJames]

Wow! What a chip Rory on 17!! 😱🔥🔥

[Patrick Doran @lunch_enjoyer]

my experience yesterday speaking with a texting scammer