amsometimesfunny

[amsometimesfunny @lilbitfunny]

I lost 25% of my roof in the storm the other day.

Oof.

[amsometimesfunny @lilbitfunny]

What is the difference in a lobster with boobs and a dirty bus stop?

One is a busty crustacean, and the other is a crusty bus station 🤷‍♀️

[amsometimesfunny @lilbitfunny]

What is a tree's favorite radio station?

Doesn't matter as long as it's playin' all the ✨ poplar ✨ hits!

[amsometimesfunny @lilbitfunny]

What did the grape say when it got squished?

Nothing. It just let out a little ✨ w h i n e ✨

[amsometimesfunny @lilbitfunny]

Who led the Isrealites through a semi-permeable layer?

Osmoses.

[amsometimesfunny @lilbitfunny]

What was Beethoven's favorite fruit?

BA NA NA NAAAAAA

[amsometimesfunny @lilbitfunny]

Mixing a T-Rex with a pig? That's how you get Jurassic p o r k

[amsometimesfunny @lilbitfunny]

Some days are just like trying to get a cherry tomato on your fork on a plate full of dressing

[amsometimesfunny @lilbitfunny]

Y'know how you just, like, love on your cat and then as a thank you she leaves you with 84% of her hair?