julian

[•ᴗ- @evadentz]

what twitter search feels like now

[Mike F @DeputyWarlock]

if i ever found out a mouse lived in my home, and he had a small archway in the wall, and he lived in there with small, real furniture, and he ventured out nightly to get one olive or a small wedge of cheese. i would stop at nothing to end his life. i would spare no expense

[Isaac @isaacturnersong]

The homie who’s ultimately just a pawn in your grand scheme

[Bobby @BobbyMlRE]

he’s absolutely right btw

[ringworm @prawn_meat]

every crew has the one homie who always gets whipped cream on the tip of his nose when you go out for milkshakes!

[Chris @citehchris]

one month into dating: what’s up big dawg

one year into dating: hi my beautiful big dawg

one day after married: good morning my forever big dawg

[Alex Degen in my 2025 era @atothe_d]

RT if you know why

[Xiao Fei @istaylackin]

perfect place to get stabbed in a random act of violence and slowly drift away while your warm deep red blood melts the snow around you

[julian @lilboolian]

just tried motioning/communicating to someone that their car lights were off and they started recording me. i hope you get t-boned dumbass

[Turdis L’Szechuan 🌴🤙 @CurtisRemarc]

Almost the 4 year anniversary so time to post the greatest video of all time again

[adas @adastroworld]

Crushed it at an intimate house hang with one close friend + a bunch of loose connections today. Met new people. Listened to what they said. Contributed relevant jokes and setups to make them seem funnier and cooler. Great work all around on my part

[gnocchi 🎾🔜 AC @neoaky]

i had a dream this song was on brat https://t.co/ZrzkvfVyTV

[Wøe ☥ @Woeotto]

ㅤ

[Soulja Boy @souljaboy]

Once you realize that mostly everybody is retarded, life gets easier. 😎

[David @Beabosaur]

Therapist: The cicada that shouts "AWW YEAAAH" isn't real, he can't hurt you

The cicada that shouts "AWW YEAAAH":

[dirt girl @haterofwords2]

was talking to my dad and he told me when he was 20 he did too many shrooms before work and “called in evil” he said he thought he was evil and couldn’t come into work