Bronski

Sheeeiiiiiiit

[Bronski @lilbronski]

Fellas, if she says “im about to cum” she is NOT telling you change rhythm

[Bronski @lilbronski]

People see me buying rounds of shots and bottles for all my friends and think I’m rich. Bitch I’m not rich I’m irresponsible.

[Bronski @lilbronski]

The key to running a successful business is simply covering a wall in ivy and putting up a neon sign that says something like “bad bitch szn” and the female foot traffic will sustain you for generations

[Bronski @lilbronski]

Me: *chugs beer* alright whose ready for some SHOTS

Everyone at my niece’s pre-k graduation party:

[Bronski @lilbronski]

I did not find the bottom of the mimosas but I DID find a shiny penny in the back of a squad car

[Bronski @lilbronski]

I’m sorry the sex was bad, we are experiencing supply chain issues

[Bronski @lilbronski]

I didn’t think it was possible, but my favorite restaurant just got even better

[Bronski @lilbronski]

@CoachRoberts25 I don’t think you know what shrink means

[Bronski @lilbronski]

Due to inflation, I now have a 6 inch penis

[Bronski @lilbronski]

“Who the hell would bring beer to work?!”

- me acting surprised when my co-workers find a beer can in the break room trash can

[Bronski @lilbronski]

Just got a Lowe’s credit card and it was declined at the club wtf

[Bronski @lilbronski]

When my homie gets his heart broke and it falls on me to console him