🛸alien👽

🤠they/them👽
🧸collared sub⛓️
💕@Damnjordy🐻

[🛸alien👽 @lilenbyalien]

@blkgirllostkeys Remember that meltdowns are like milestones. They're a breaking point. They're a point where your mental + physical + emotional have all said "THATS ENOUGH" and they're demanding your immediate attention. Dont ever feel guilty for meeting your own needs❤️ take care ❤️

[🛸alien👽 @lilenbyalien]

I forget how old and secluded from the internet my mom and dad are sometimes

Told my dad "pop off king" and he was so confused and concerned lmao sorry king

[🛸alien👽 @lilenbyalien]

Big mom flex -

I cut my finger almost to the bone at work and don't have insurance so I asked my mom to help and she butterfly sutured and medical glued my pinkie back together after feeding me a shot of tequila and giving me a stress ball to squeeze - she rocks 😭 I'm 29 btw

[🛸alien👽 @lilenbyalien]

Just went to the store at 11:30 pm for only specifically just tequila and lube

Social anxiety fears ME

[🛸alien👽 @lilenbyalien]

@ThatEricAlper Eruption , Eddie Van Halen

[🛸alien👽 @lilenbyalien]

@insultsrare I'm not racist but I'm going back in a little while now I'm not going anywhere else today so I'm not sure what you are doing today or tomorrow but I'm not going anywhere.

[🛸alien👽 @lilenbyalien]

My friend is always taking every opportunity to put me in my place I hate him lmao he's my favorite

[🛸alien👽 @lilenbyalien]

Rewatching Game Of Thrones and just got to the episode where Cersei gets imprisoned by the High Sparrow and I'm on cloud 9 rn . Hate that bitch

[🛸alien👽 @lilenbyalien]

So you come home and drink alone .....or, perchance, - if you're lucky - with a friend or two that also just worked the same shit shift as you did

We watch all the people have all the fun and then come home and drink in our little depressed bartender caves and it sucks lmao

[🛸alien👽 @lilenbyalien]

Nothing like being a bartender

Getting everyone buzzed all day long while they're with their friends and family , having a great time

Only to get off work so late at night that you can't get a drink anywhere , because also all the other bars are closed/closing ...

[🛸alien👽 @lilenbyalien]

@joncoopertweets Lmao my childhood pastor to a T. Talking bout "y'all need to tithe so we can afford electricity in God's House" while he and the wife were driving a Corvette going on a cruise to Cancun every year 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄

[🛸alien👽 @lilenbyalien]

Low-key wanna become a makeup artist

[🛸alien👽 @lilenbyalien]

I tried to do basic math in my head too early this morning (before my coffee😔) and almost had a stroke

[🛸alien👽 @lilenbyalien]

My fiance just stirred in his sleep and he ended up slinging an arm up, in mid sleep, and pulling me in as close to him as I can possibly get and this is the cutest fucking shit ever omg no wonder guys like us so much this snuggly shit is cute☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️

[🛸alien👽 @lilenbyalien]

Lmao @ me
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idiot

[Why you should have a cat @ShouldHaveCat]

This cat traveled more than me

[🛸alien👽 @lilenbyalien]

My parents updating me about every single thing they're doing on their Vegas trip is so cute 🥺

[Jenni @hashjenni]

me when im not okay:

[Punch Cat @PunchingCat]

wait for it