lilly

have you ever had a dream that you, um, you had, your, you- you could, you’ll do, you- you want, you, you could do so, you- you’ll do, you could- you want…

[Joe Paul @joesampaul]

Things got weird after @City_Lafayette asked for the public's help to name its snow plows. Here are the winners:

Betty Whiteout
Clearopathra
Scoop Dogg
CTRL SALT DELETE
Tony Snowswarski
Rhinestone Plowboy
Plowy McPlowface
Sleetwood Mac
Buzz Iceclear and
Frost Responder

[タケダヒロキ｜水彩画家 @takedahiroki]

水彩で描きました✳︎

[bobby @bobby]

MDS (massive dome syndrome) is no laughing matter. blocked and reported.

[Sara Marie Reine @smreine]

Lilies are SO dangerous that getting a tiny bit of pollen on the cat’s nose can cause kidney failure and death. Quick vet intervention won’t reliably save them. NEVER KEEP LILIES if you have cats. (Don’t have any of these, but especially lilies.)

[Fascinating @fasc1nate]

A house cat who broke into a Lynx's cage: https://t.co/PL5NThvFfx

[Read Jackson Rising @JPHilllllll]

Oh shit lol. Twitter HQ in San Francisco tonight

[Annie? Rauwerda? @anniierau]

one time in college a professor spent 90 minutes talking about an example scenario that involved beef and i thought nothing of it until several weeks later when i found out that my classmate had made a minute long compilation of all 125 times he said "beef" in one lecture

[The Onion @TheOnion]

‘Call Of Duty’ Adds Premium Skin Only Available To Players Who Kill Someone In Real Life https://t.co/KcwECkxeuW

[Games Done Quick @GamesDoneQuick]

Bankrupting Twitter is not an eligible run submission for the second submission period.

[Ben Wexler @mrbenwexler]

Can Elon Musk buy Fox News next

[Brandon Hardin @hardin]

elon basically forcing brands to tweet things like "we're sorry you ever thought insulin could be free," incredible scenes

[Barstool Bama @BarstoolAlabama]

GOT CUM?!

[The Onion @TheOnion]

Bullied Loner Plans Office Shooting https://t.co/vi1zjXxjB3

[The Onion @TheOnion]

Please Like Me https://t.co/tumXhysqFW