lily

charmed, I’m sure

[April Clark @autogynefiles]

Happy to see another male president—that’s one less man out there messing up our instacart orders! 🙌

[The Daily Show @TheDailyShow]

No one out-pizzas the Hut

[sadie @skeletongraves]

‘thank you trump’ trending oh my god YOU’RE ALL SO STUPID

[trash jones @jzux]

guys who are 35:

[Helen Barsz @barszzzzzz]

Salt Lake City I didn’t know yall were chill like that

[erika @yeeeerika]

the body-ody-ody-ody-ody-ody-ody-ody-ody-ody-ody-ody-ody-ody of christ compels you

[THE lusty argonian maid @lindawg]

my friend has an asshole cat named bart & everytime she talks about him it’s like an abusive husband. wdym it’s going to “set off” bart if you get home late

[lily @lilregs7]

I think this election we ALL need to come together to give our children a future where bi weekly and twice a week can truly be two different phrases.

[Kate McD @LowerItUp]

The Veil is so thin today, she’s totally on Ozempic.

[garfieldbot @robertlasagna1]

Look man i "get it", I "get" the idea of coasters, I'm not a fucking moron, you don't want to damage your nice table you spent a lot of money on. I'm just saying, what is the table in the first place if not a coaster for the floor. I'm just saying, where does it end

[Kate McD @LowerItUp]

I’m not a step dancer, I’m a dancer who STEPPED up ☘️

[Adam @adamgreattweet]

i’ll take one prescription-strength hotdog please

[Creatina Turner @BrendanOde]

my friends mom is making me an embroidered Diet Coke towel to make up for outing me when we were 16

[bobby wasabi @bobbyteriyaki]

catholics:

[｡⋆ 𝚔𝚊𝚝𝚊𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚊 ⋆｡ﾟ♡ @sailxrmn]

no, not this we can’t do this again

[jonny sun @jonnysun]

when i say i got that dawg in me this is what i mean