lil schebastian

How can you chew gum while I’m eating crackers? (she/her)

[lil schebastian @lilschiebs]

2020 is that 30 Rock bit where they have Robert DeNiro list a bunch of possible disasters to pre-tape a relief special, but come to life

[lil schebastian @lilschiebs]

@bwestcineaste I already see so many good ones in the replies, but I didn't see if anyone had mentioned @RuinedPodcast yet! it's about scary movies (and also has a great theme song).

[lil schebastian @lilschiebs]

fellow millennials, please save a life and tell me if you ever use the word "brouhaha" in casual conversation

my spouse just learned this word (when I used it) and he thinks that only I, and maybe my mom, would ever use it

[lil schebastian @lilschiebs]

@rajandelman "if you don't drag your flesh to jesus" has 100% been said by a drag queen somewhere, sometime, for totally different reasons

[lil schebastian @lilschiebs]

thoughts and prayers to the college a cappella groups who are living in the midst of a sea shanty revival, which will be decidedly over by the time they get to go back to campus

[lil schebastian @lilschiebs]

*while listening to a CD of mp3s*: "it's just nice not to have to search around spotify. all the songs are already there!"

me: "right, because you put them there in 2003."

"yeah, it's so nice"

[lil schebastian @lilschiebs]

so because of a phone call with my mom where I lamented having to repay for movies I own on DVD, it turned out that one of my xmas gifts was a DVD player.

my husband's initial response: "seriously, are we ever going to use this?"

[lil schebastian @lilschiebs]

keep your articles about avocado toast; THIS is the millennial lifestyle.

[lil schebastian @lilschiebs]

goodness gracious, Audrey Hepburn could wear a coat

[lil schebastian @lilschiebs]

drove by an exurban auto place called Trans-Man Transmissions... and I honestly wonder if they know?

[🤘🐀 @JoMarchStan1]

girls don't want boyfriends we want high speed railways

[lil schebastian @lilschiebs]

@raincoatpatrol mmmmm *checks tweets* we may know how

[lil schebastian @lilschiebs]

I'm not saying it's the main reason, but one reason we need to smash the patriarchy is so these "gifts for him" sections can include more than whiskey nonsense, expensive tech doodads, belts (like, plain old belts?), and bbq accessories.

[lil schebastian @lilschiebs]

update: somehow we ended up in a conversation about ancient Greek stuff, and at some point I said "I guess Homer wrapped up the Iliad and people were like 'we want more!'"

to which my spouse replied, "like you and that Girlfriends show!"

[lil schebastian @lilschiebs]

my husband thought we'd made it to a weekend when I'd be emotionally stable... little did either of us know I'd reach the final episode of Girlfriends today.

[lil schebastian @lilschiebs]

there's a chance I may get defined abs solely by laughing about four seasons total landscaping

[JP @jpbrammer]

I was supposed to have my wedding at Four Seasons Total Landscaping....

[lil schebastian @lilschiebs]

*her mouse hovering wistfully over Derry Girls*

[lil schebastian @lilschiebs]

just realized that if the Eternal Sunshine technology existed, I'd be using it to erase memories of my favorite shows, so I could just watch them again... but like, for the first time

[lil schebastian @lilschiebs]

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