B ✨

she sad but she bad

[mary @elaine_stritch]

i saw goody proctor using ai

[Brandon Streussnig @BrndnStrssng]

Spoilers I guess

I like how the Backrooms is basically about a guy who sucks so much that he steps foot inside a liminal hellscape and is immediately like "now this is what I'm talking about!"

[Kyle @KBensonJpg]

A vodka soda is $15 and ubers are $70

[jennie’s wife @jentayIor]

you know those old married couples who die within a week of each other? im planning on doing that with taylor

[glizzy mcguire @drnkngshmpn]

"vagueposting" it's called a fucking subtweet and was the backbone of this website before you idiots got here

[mar ☆ @asillylittlepal]

i forgot i should've clarified maybe

[Jamie Bonkiewicz @JamieBonkiewicz]

Call me a radical left extremist, but I think the Surgeon General should be a licensed medical professional.

[James Surowiecki @JamesSurowiecki]

Trump is a second-generation immigrant.

[BLIMP! JUICE! @blimp_juice]

She's right! It's really unsafe for children to throw snowballs around police officers, because police officers are known to shoot children to death

[liz 💥 @lizaboth]

“If you hate the president so much you should LEAVE!!” Actually I love my country so much I’m gonna stay here and loudly resist the fascist regime brought in by the president I hate so much but ty for your input

[Frank Morano @frankmorano]

Say what you want about the Groundhog, that rodent knows weather.

[Jesse Brenneman @Jesse_Brenneman]

I know conservatives are concerned about illegal voting, so I’ve come up with a plan: in order to vote, citizens have to register, thereby confirming they’re citizens. Then their name goes on a list of registered voters and when they go to vote they confirm they’re on that list.

[bug girl @buggirl]

and one more thing. if you’re going to look like a hobbit you have to embody the hobbit spirit by being kindhearted and earnest so that it’s endearing. you can’t look like a hobbit AND be a weird incel freak. you have to pick one. many get this wrong

[⌐╦ᡁ─ 𝖕𝖗𝖊𝖞𝖌𝖎𝖗𝖑 ⌖ @angelemissary_]

you want me to use email? like jeffrey epstein?

[rat_angel_ @rat_angel_]

New York City? You mean where they make the crosswords?

[carina adly mackenzie @cadlymack]

I CANT KEEP CRYING OVER THIS FUCKING MONKEY EVERY DAY I HAVE A JOB

[Dr Helen Ingram @drhingram]

Yes I know war is breaking out, aliens are about to be unveiled and the royal family is imploding... but how is the little monkey today?

[Bob Golen @BobGolen]

The dwarf psychic who escaped from jail is a small medium at large.

[Khoi Dao @khoidaooo]

is there a gofundme to get that baby monkey an iron man suit