Glizzy McGuire

My private life is an inside joke, no one will explain it to me. #NapSquad

[Glizzy McGuire @lilylightyear]

I’ve had my Nintendog, Noel, since I was 9. I’ve always wanted a real life Noel.

Today that wish came true. Welcome, Noelle ❤️

[Big Tee @societyhatestee]

i feel like there is a sleep in me that needs to be slept but each time i sleep i don't sleep that sleep.

[✨Lovely✨ @ItsLovelyLaveau]

And yall thought Obama was gonna make the White House “ghetto”…. Look at THIS hoodrat shit

[isha @MibshaD]

When I got pregnant at 17 my ultra right-wing, conservative, catholic parents told me to get an abortion and we’d never talk about it again.

That’s why I know they’re all full of shit.

[Brian Allen @allenanalysis]

The irony is almost unbelievable.

For years, some conservatives warned that Obama would turn the White House into a celebrity playground, politicize every institution, and treat it like his personal brand.

He didn’t.

Now there’s a UFC event on the White House grounds, corporate sponsorships everywhere, and a cage fight being used as a presidential spectacle.

Trump did to the White House what his critics feared.

The joke wrote itself.

[Natalie @FalcoNat38]

ooh i’m zohran mamdani. my wife is hot. my favorite soccer team won the league for the first time in 22 years. my favorite basketball team won the championship for the first time in 53 years. fuck you man.

[gremlin @queerlilgremlin]

“almost four” sure sounds like he doesn’t consider the fetus she’s pregnant with to be a real person yet

weird

[adri | Keenly Mischievous Warrior Barbie 🦄 @baarbiedup]

That's why they got fuck all type of entities and eldritch horrors living there

[WTFGOP @doggintrump]

I swear to God, if a tornado hits the WH tomorrow I’ll start going back to church

[Queen Chimerazilla ☭🐾 @Qveen_Potato]

Didn't y'all get mad at Michelle Obama for having a vegetable garden

[lindsey ok @lindseyyok]

I thought they canceled bud light for being too woke. I cannot keep up

[Glizzy McGuire @lilylightyear]

@icecoldratboi They refuse to call them the guardians but then flip a tit if you call it the Gulf of Mexico

[Micah Erfan @micah_erfan]

The same people who said masks were "literally 1984" think this is fine.

[ɴᴀᴅɪ.🎀༘ @luvblessingz]

My favorite part of reality tv is when someone goes “I never said that” and then they play a compilation of every time the did in fact say that.

[chris evans @notcapnamerica]

Quite literally break my door down to wake me up.

[Noah Kahan @NoahKahan]

Ahh a beautiful morning… the sun is shining in Florida and the birds are chirping. I think I’ll log onto social media and see the response to my set list last night. This is gonna be awesome!!

[suri @suricidal]

speaking of old nba tweets this is still the greatest

[JustBreathe @stargazing90]

Everyone okay with that? They took money from every pay check ever had and spent it somewhere else..pissed yet?