limebutter

I am a buttered lime. A greasy citrus. An anointed fruit. Please DO NOT like the tweets,have a solid streak going.

[limebutter @limebutter2]

Hello, yes, I’m calling in sick to life because the universe is testing me today and I haven’t studied.

[limebutter @limebutter2]

Erotica is 1000% times worse in large print. Bonus points if Mr Rogers “It’s You I Like” happen to start playing immediately. #actuallyjusthappened #ImSorryMrRogers #kindleproblems #whoreadsatthatsize #hahawhoreads #kindle #samanthacole

[limebutter @limebutter2]

If you don’t transcend space/time, can it even really be called a ‘nap’? #whatisbestinlife #naps #sleep

[limebutter @limebutter2]

Singing “I can have pancakes, ‘cause I’m a grownup” as I dance up the stairs is peak adulting. #adulthood #adulting #Dinner, btw #HipsDontLie #ShakiraShakira

[limebutter @limebutter2]

No, my two notebooks are not enough. I need a 3rd, even note-ier notebook #NotesOnNotes #journalnotincluded #DontMakeMeGet4th #goatnotes #boatnotes #floatnotes #moatnotes #oatnotes #QuoteNotes #VoteNotes

[limebutter @limebutter2]

Upvoting post after post on @Reddit featuring #pizzatate fills me with the glee of a child on Christmas morning. #holidaymiracle #6thDayofChristmas

[limebutter @limebutter2]

Oh, you have “achievements” and “life skills” and “children”?

I just buttered my cat & lost his favorite toy in under a minute.

#WeAreNotTheSame #cat #butter #millenial

[limebutter @limebutter2]

“There's some whores in this house,
There's some whores in this house,”
I sing quietly to myself when I’m home alone. #WAP @theestallion @iamcardib

[limebutter @limebutter2]

I’m never louder than when I’m trying to move silently. #wheredidthatcomefrom #clumsy

[limebutter @limebutter2]

I’ve been reflecting on my hoe phase, aka my life. #hoephase #gardening

[limebutter @limebutter2]

Nothing like an 11pm shower to drive home how much you’re starting to look like a vampire #chronicillni #vampire #WouldVampirismBeProtectedByADA #insomnia

[limebutter @limebutter2]

I had a gig for this afternoon, which I was looking forward to, but the speed with which I flung my bra off at the news it was canceled contradicts that.

Was barely a fully formed thought, just “I’m staying home, I guess-FREEDOM!” #freetheboobs #freethenippple #brasarecancelled

[limebutter @limebutter2]

I rarely know what I do want, but I always know what I don’t want.

[limebutter @limebutter2]

AC: On
Bush: Out
Nipples: Freed
#beattheheat #freethenipple #Heatwave2022

[limebutter @limebutter2]

“You have concerns, I hear that. Would you like to come cuddle about them?” #thingsIsaytomycat #catswhoyell

[limebutter @limebutter2]

Never “eyeball” rugs or dildos when you’re shopping online.
Measure that shit out. #yourewelcome #onlineshoppingproblems #measuretwice #MONEY

[limebutter @limebutter2]

If I’m supposed to get out of bed, why is it at peak comfiness when I wake up? Perfect temperature, pillows angled perfectly, so cozy. Only missing a cat pinning me down so I have an excuse not to move. #sleep #bediscomfortshaped

[limebutter @limebutter2]

That moment when you pick up your phone & realize the charger wasn’t plugged in as you run out the door #FML #ineedasupervisor

[limebutter @limebutter2]

#ADD meds can get me to wash a months worth of laundry, but it can’t make me put it away. #medcheck #adhd #adhdstruggles #ididdishestoo #itwasabigday #ihatelaundry

[limebutter @limebutter2]

Nothing like trying to navigate your room in complete darkness to make you realize how inhospitable it is #adhd #thisishowtherobotswin #iphonedependent #ow