XOXO

🔮✨Always Wear Sunscreen✨🔮

[🪷🌿🌷Jay S🌷🌿🪷 @jaykumarshah61]

Me: I literally live in a one-room apartment.

Manager: He will adapt.

Employee already taking photos of me with cat.

Me: Why is everyone acting like I’ve been drafted into military service.

Old lady in corner sipping tea: The orange one chooses only once every ten years.

Me: EXCUSE ME?

Employee whispering: Last chosen customer moved to Hokkaido and opened bakery.

Me: I DON’T WANT A DESTINY CAT.

orange cat wakes up, slaps adoption papers with paw.

Manager: He has signed.

Me: THAT IS NOT LEGALLY BINDING.

cat suddenly bites random French tourist walking past window.

Entire café nodding approvingly.

Employee: Ah yes… spirit still strong.

French tourist outside: WHAT THE HELL.

Manager handing me tiny bell collar.

Manager: His name is Chairman Meow.

Me: absolutely not.

cat immediately ignores everyone else and follows me to exit.

door sensor opens automatically.

Employee softly: It has begun.

Me standing outside holding giant orange cat, coffee never arrived, somehow now legally emotionally responsible for retired yakuza Garfield.

[marqix ☆ @fwmarqix]

Me: entering Japanese cat café.

employee stops me immediately.

Employee: One rule.

Me: Okay.

Employee: Orange cat bites people from France.

Me: I’m not French.

Employee: Good.

I sit down, cats everywhere, peaceful, adorable, therapeutic.

then gigantic orange cat jumps onto table, built like retired wrestler.

Cat staring at me aggressively.

Employee watching nervously from distance.

Me: I thought he only hated French people.

Employee: He improvises.

cat slowly pushes my drink off table while maintaining eye contact.

Me: THIS IS TARGETED.

small child nearby points at cat.

Child: That one evil.

Employee: No no, He just passionate.

cat suddenly climbs onto my lap, starts purring violently.

Me: …wait he likes me?

Employee shocked.

Employee: Impossible.

another worker comes over, then another, entire staff now observing me like chosen prophet.

Manager arrives.

Manager: He has never trusted customer before.

Me: What does that mean.

Manager bows slightly.

Manager: You must take him.

Me: TAKE HIM WHERE.

orange cat already asleep on me.

Employee quietly bringing adoption papers.

Me: I CAME HERE FOR COFFEE.

[XOXO @liminaloptimism]

Someday, ✨both✨of my Powerbeats will be charged when I go to the gym. I’m just bummed today is not said day.

[Isabella Rossellini @isabellRoseXoXo]

The GREATEST and most LEGENDARY bluff in the history of TV.

[The Olympic Games @Olympics]

🔥 @SnoopDogg 🔥

[Elon Musk @elonmusk]

Whoever said “money can’t buy happiness” really knew what they were talking about 😔

[Steve 🇺🇸 @SteveLovesAmmo]

Perfect explanation!

[Earth @earthcurated]

Meteor over Mount Fuji by H. Manabe

[LMPD @LMPD]

If you crash tonight doing donuts in a parking lot, that’s between you and Jesus. We’re tired.

[LMPD @LMPD]

Someone just asked if snowchains were ‘like necklaces for tires.’ I can’t do this anymore, we’re exhausted.

[LMPD @LMPD]

Speeding tickets issued today - 0

[Interesting things @awkwardgoogle]

Only book lovers will get this feeling.

[Basil the Great @BasilTheGreat]

In China they show videos to tourists on what to do if they are harassed by 'locals' when visiting Europe

[Interesting things @awkwardgoogle]

When you do something right, and your boss actually sees it 😎⚾️

[XOXO @liminaloptimism]

"Es gibt kein schlechtes Wetter, nur falsche Kleidung" I mumble as I grab my raincoat for my morning run.

[Lars Mapstead for Congress @LibertarianLars]

@elonmusk

[Charlie Kirk @charliekirk11]

You can tell a lot about a person by how they react when someone dies.

[Defiant L’s @DefiantLs]

This video will never get old.

[San Antonio Zoo 🦍 @SanAntonioZoo]

me when i have to face the consequences of my own actions