Lindsay Parker

I like palm trees.

[Lindsay Parker @linban412]

I’m playing chess with Ellie and she keeps calling the pieces “characters”. Now I’ll never call them anything else.

Better go save my king character!

[Lindsay Parker @linban412]

Just heard a preschooler walking down the hall singing, “Every letter makes a sound, a T says BOOGER!”

Kids are fun 😆

[Lindsay Parker @linban412]

Maddie: Mom, I just made my bed.
Me: Yay! Good job!
Maddie: Well, I didn’t do it yet but I will.

😑

[Lindsay Parker @linban412]

Maddie: Mom, I think I’m lost.
Me: You’re not lost.
Maddie: How do you know?
Me: Because you’re here. You’re with me
Maddie: Oh…what if you’re lost too?Maybe we’re both lost. How do we know where we’re going? Or when we get there?

Is she being philosophical or just paranoid? 🤔

[Lindsay Parker @linban412]

Ellie: What Halloween costume will they wear?

Josh: None, they’re cats.

Me: No! We are NOT dressing the cats up!

Ellie: How about just one of them?

Josh: (to me) She does make a good point…

Send help! My family is becoming a #crazycatfamily and I’m not okay with that! 😻

[Lindsay Parker @linban412]

So, I’m the worst mom ever.

The kids and I watched Hocus Pocus 2. When the Sanderson sisters sang “One Way or Another” to put a spell on Salem, I started singing along and acted like I was under their spell. They moved to another couch and won’t look at me. 😳

#HocusPocus2

[Lindsay Parker @linban412]

Maddie: Mom, Asher said a bad word!

Asher: No I did not!

Maddie: Yes he did! He said “deez nuts!”

Asher: Oh, yeah I did. I didn’t know that’s even a bad word now.

😳

[Lindsay Parker @linban412]

Ellie: Want some peanuts?

Maddie: No, I can only eat vegetables.

Ellie: Oh, are you on a diet?

Maddie: Yeah, I think I will diet. Like I want to dye my hair. So I’ll dye it.

Trying to figure out if this is a conversation between a 4 and 6 year old or between two teenagers 🤔

[Lindsay Parker @linban412]

Maddie: I need a sponge to do dishes
Me: Just use water, I’ll use a sponge later.
Maddie: No, for real. I have to use a sponge or I’ll go to jail. I called the cops and they said, “If you don’t use a sponge, you go to jail.” Do you want me to go to jail? No? Then I need a sponge!

[Lindsay Parker @linban412]

Maddie: I want Rae Rae to come play with me. Can you call her mom and ask her to come over?

Me: Well, I don’t have her mom’s number. I can’t call.

Maddie: That’s okay! I know her number. It’s 1-0-4. Call that, okay? Ask for Rae Rae’s mom!

Spoiler alert: it wasn’t her number 😂

[Lindsay Parker @linban412]

Asher: You can say that again!
Ellie: She’s kind of mean
Asher: Don’t repeat it!
Ellie: You told me to say it again
Asher: Its called an idiom!
Me: How do you know that?
Asher: 2nd grade is better than you think…and idiom sounds like idiot so I remember to change the T to an M!

[Lindsay Parker @linban412]

Ellie: Asher, I made up a new word. Sunny Delight!
Asher: That’s already a word! It’s a drink!
Elle: No, I made it up for lightbulb. We can call them sunny delights!
Asher: 🤔
Me: *waiting for him to be mean*
Asher: You’re a genius! That’s hilarious!

Whew, dodged a bullet there!

[Lindsay Parker @linban412]

Maddie: I don’t want anyone to spill my water bottle.

Me: I’ll watch it. No one will spill it.

Maddie: Ok, because I don’t want your big butt to get wet.

Me: Ok…wait, what?

Maddie: I like big butts and I cannot lie…

[Lindsay Parker @linban412]

Listening to @GoodCharlotte with @parkerjosh1 and we’re talking about listening to this CD in high school.

Asher was getting into the songs and I was feeling pretty proud…until he said, “Since you listened to them when you were little, does that mean they’re all dead now?” 😡

[Lindsay Parker @linban412]

Tell me she’s your third child without telling me she’s your third child.

I was reading a book about colors and she pointed to the green grapes on a page about green items and said blueberries. BLUEberries. On the green page.

Oh, and she called a giraffe a waffle.

[Lindsay Parker @linban412]

Asher was helping Ellie practice sight words and he made up rhymes for words she didn’t know.

Asher: W-e-r, that’s a baby’s car.

Me: You have to say the word “were” in there. And you spelled it wrong.

Asher: Elle, just say w-e-r, that’s a baby’s car. And then remember were.

[Lindsay Parker @linban412]

@MeganHunnaman We all hope that lol

[Lindsay Parker @linban412]

Ellie: Daniel Tiger is kind of gross because he only wears a sweater. No pants, no underwear, nothing. That’s kind of gross.

[Lindsay Parker @linban412]

Ellie just told me that when she grows up, she’s going to live by herself with no husband and no dog but lots of cats.

So we’re pretty proud of her ambition. Crazy cat lady, here she comes!

[Lindsay Parker @linban412]

Me: Be nice or you won’t get any Christmas presents.

Maddie: I am being nice! You be nice or you won’t get any presents. See? Look under the tree. Nothing for mommy so you’re not being nice!

If anyone needs me, I’ll be out buying presents for myself so my kids think I’m nice.