Lincoln

Honest Herb

[Lincoln @lincolnwayne_]

We all just need a more Zmac attitude towards life

[vg @VitruviusGrind]

We’re never getting a better website than this one, unfortunately.

[latke @latkedelrey]

i still think often about how sickening t-pain’s cover of war pigs was https://t.co/b9vKgkBd6B

[Kristi Yamaguccimane @TheWapplehouse]

Here's my advice to single American men who feel hopeless about ever finding a good woman to marry:

Take a month or two between jobs and drive across the USA. Stop at every Jersey Mike’s, Firehouse Subs and Jimmy John’s, and eat every meal during non-rush hours. Avoid cities; stop primarily just off exits that cater exclusively to outlet stores, Top Golf and Car Max lots.

Every time you see a pretty cashier or grill girl with a Tinkerbell or Tweety bird tattoo, politely ask what time her next smoke/vape/Bang energy break is. Tell her you're out seeing the country and looking for a place to day trade crypto and a good woman with kids to help neglect. Repeat until you've found someone to share your Cool Mint Zyn and blue Taki’s with.

This worked for at least one chad I knew from a Discord server. Met his wife at a Subway attached to a Flying J in Blacksburg, South Carolina. She left her kids with her mom and moved to Fayetteville with him, and now they go back to that Subway together every Christmas, fueling up at the truck stop where they met and sharing a Sweet Onion Chicken Teriyaki footlong he ordered when they met. She was giddy to find him, as most of the men in her town were either not willing to leave their wives or total losers because they weren’t willing to leave their kids. They were both in their early 30's when they met.

I had planned on doing this when I got out of prison, but Providence had it that I'd never have to try it out -- I'd be married to the game(FanDuel parlays) just before my parole. But I say to any young man having trouble finding a woman it's absolutely worth a try.

At worst, you see the country and develop high blood pressure from the salt content in deli meat. At best, you find the love of your life wearing Cookie Monster pajama pants manning a turbo chef.

[Maggie Johnson @MaggieLJohnson]

I don’t think that hiring attractive people is the problem…

…Self-control is. 🤷🏼‍♀️

[Lincoln @lincolnwayne_]

@extramicrowave Pretty close

[Barry @BarryOnHere]

Deshaun Watson is this generation's MLK.

[Got CTE from playing Peek-a-Boo @doulbedoink]

This one really got me

[Sickos Committee @SickosCommittee]

BREAKING: Pudge had a spa day.

[Got CTE from playing Peek-a-Boo @doulbedoink]

Zac Taylor for the first month of every NFL season

[Lincoln @lincolnwayne_]

Come to Eugene, hike through the woods to Autzen, and sing along to Mat Kearney’s smash hit “I left My Heart in Oregon” at the third quarter break. Grow up. The big ten should be ashamed

[GoDucks @GoDucks]

10.25.25
Wear Tie-Dye.

@OregonFootball | #GoDucks

[Paige Vincent 💃 Red Dress Series @paigevincent09]

Wtf is life rn in Gary, SD - 8:30pm #sdwx

[Lincoln @lincolnwayne_]

@awilson2017 Thank you. I have more things to say. Will keep you updated

[Lincoln @lincolnwayne_]

This girl from phoenix is visiting the plant and she keeps telling everyone she is going to “the cascades” while she is here and it’s driving me nuts. You are going to North Cascades National Park. Nobody knows what you mean by “the cascades”

[Lincoln @lincolnwayne_]

@zero_grove where’s Kawhi

[Extra @extrastats]

Most game-tying or lead-taking shots with under 5 seconds left in the game, in the playoffs, since 1997:

[Lincoln @lincolnwayne_]

@2016JRod How many titles did those guys win

[🐢✨America Is Musty✨🐢 @DragonflyJonez]

I like Shedeur and I’m rooting for him but the kid has one major thing working against him. He’s a Cleveland Brown. Folks are like “yeah the Browns are gonna show the whole league how wrong they were!” and buddy the Browns have never done that. That is not a franchise full of forward-thinking decision makers. Biggest move the Browns ever made in my life will go down as the worst trade in NFL history. But we’ll see!

[Letterkenny Problems @LetterkennyProb]

Have a Super Hard Easter.

[Blatz Buck @BlatzBeerLover]

Opening line in a god damned masterpiece album….with maybe the best cover art ever

Pour one out

[Lincoln @lincolnwayne_]

PDX may not be winning games but is that even what the NBA is about?

[Portland Trail Blazers @trailblazers]

chat.. did we just witness the greatest dunk in the history of the universe

[Ian Hartitz @Ihartitz]

F-!