Linda Stogner

Hi, I make comedy and I make films, sometimes all in one.

[Linda Stogner @LindaStogner]

Therapist: What is your greatest fear?
Me: (pause) Quicksand. (slow smile)
Note: Apparently, therapists can fire patients.

[Linda Stogner @LindaStogner]

Auto-correct has made so many mistakes as me , it has made my SAT scores drop.

[Linda Stogner @LindaStogner]

Yeah, I think I’m watching too many crime shows, I just referred to a guy that I like as the unsub.

[Linda Stogner @LindaStogner]

For Halloween, I’m going as my doppelgänger.

[Linda Stogner @LindaStogner]

I have hit a new low, I technically just had dinner at 7-11, no more, from now on it’s QuikTrip or nothing.

[Linda Stogner @LindaStogner]

As I walked by the hotel bar, I was made designated driver by a bunch of people I didn’t know. Apparently, they had not heard about a certain run in with a certain locomotive.

[Linda Stogner @LindaStogner]

I love them!

[Kevin Bacon @kevinbacon]

30 years! I can’t believe it. @kyrasedgwick is the woman of my dreams and the music in my life. #tolovesomebody #beegees

[Linda Stogner @LindaStogner]

Cop: You were weaving, ma’am, you been drinking?
Me: No sir, that’s just how I drive.

[Linda Stogner @LindaStogner]

I realized I had two different Converse on today. Dilemma solved, I wore them proudly!!

[Linda Stogner @LindaStogner]

I was a poor kid at a fancy college, you could tell the difference between me and the rich kids, they had Mercedes, I had shoes.

[Linda Stogner @LindaStogner]

My friend said I should try to see things in a more positive way. So here goes, my car did not break down and I’m not dying in the heat, I’m seductively sweating, waiting for my secret rendezvous with my new lover, the AAA guy.

[Linda Stogner @LindaStogner]

So I went bowling . . . that is the most exciting part of this story.

[Linda Stogner @LindaStogner]

@tncomedy I have been there, love ya buddy! 🙂❤️

[Linda Stogner @LindaStogner]

Best incentive to do grocery shopping, have arugula for dinner. Not the salad just arugula: plain, dry, arugula.

[Linda Stogner @LindaStogner]

Fishes don't do words! It’s a long story, but trust me, I know this to be true!

[Linda Stogner @LindaStogner]

I was told not to try and carry the tray of 50 champagne glasses full of champagne, I did it anyway. Things broken: zero! I turned to bask in my glory and tripped over a chair. Things broken: one little toe.

[Linda Stogner @LindaStogner]

@MaryLUE I love you so much!!!

[Linda Stogner @LindaStogner]

@mebezachrose Right back at ya!!!!! Love you!

[Linda Stogner @LindaStogner]

I just noticed that my shoes are untied, my zipper is half way down and my shirt is inside out. This is how I roll.