Lisa Rottner

Queen of the Region Rats

[Lisa Rottner @lisarottner]

I think if ISIS just took a bit of time to get to know the real me they wouldn't want to exterminate my way of life

[Lisa Rottner @lisarottner]

My cat is Palestinian and she's having a really hard time rn but also just got into Harvard

[Lisa Rottner @lisarottner]

I love all the indie bands you've never heard of

[Lisa Rottner @lisarottner]

Goldman Sechs

[Lisa Rottner @lisarottner]

Some bxtches won't suck dick but eat salt n vinegar chips smh

[Lisa Rottner @lisarottner]

@tyler02020202 Thank u

[Lisa Rottner @lisarottner]

I gave the homeless guy an edible, idgaf it's better than fentanyl and like he's set up outside the weed store so he was prolly going for that angle anyway

[Lisa Rottner @lisarottner]

They really hammered into my generation that we were gonna solve climate change so i got a grad degree in a relevant science and turns out the only ones hiring are multinational banks and oil companies so here i am registered with the green party and employed by BP

[Lisa Rottner @lisarottner]

Michigan is the worst legal weed state

[bren @brennan_nnn]

gay people were created by the government to promote miley cyrus bangerz album

[Lisa Rottner @lisarottner]

I could probably pump out a second thesis quantifying how shit my advisor is

[Lisa Rottner @lisarottner]

One time in college someone hooked up with me because they'd had a crush on my cousin in high school. I know this because they told me while we were still at it

[Lisa Rottner @lisarottner]

GL Costa Rica i hope you beat Oceania in the playoff

[Lisa Rottner @lisarottner]

Holland, MI is one of the most overrated cities of all time

[Lisa Rottner @lisarottner]

@zaktheblack_ I have 8 bald uncles, a bald father, 2 balding brothers, and 10 balding male cousins. I doubt any of them are thrilled about it, but that's life

[Lisa Rottner @lisarottner]

Oh gosh, wow, poor Jada, and also 2/3 of all men before age 35

[Nicki Minaj @NICKIMINAJ]

Imagine what it must feel like to be losing your hair to the point where you have to shave it bald. You think that’s easy to deal with for anyone? You don’t think she’s cried about that many times? 2022 y’all gon have to see these men about those jokes you made about their wives.

[Lisa Rottner @lisarottner]

Who the fuck got your pussy all reupholstered??

My son's friend reupholstered my pussy

[Lisa Rottner @lisarottner]

keep my SON'S FRIEND out of my WIFE'S MOUTH

[Lisa Rottner @lisarottner]

I ended up accepting an offer at a more ethical company. I start at BP this summer!

[Lisa Rottner @lisarottner]

*me interviewing at a JP Morgan subsidiary*

"I have always loved JP Morgan"

[Lisa Rottner @lisarottner]

verbatim from me in the middle of round 2

"JP Morgan has roughly the same asset value as Wells Fargo and Bank of America combined, which is an extremely exciting position"

Will update if offered final round interview

[Lisa Rottner @lisarottner]

War is old men sending young men to die

[Lisa Rottner @lisarottner]

Dutch is an absolutely useless language. No reason for it to continue to exist