lisa

Tooth Fairy and Dog Mom 🧚‍♂️🐶

[lisa @lisavosberg]

I wish everybody loved a water pik as much as I do 😔 @dthyproblems

[lisa @lisavosberg]

Half and half is just whole milk being a crack whore.

[lisa @lisavosberg]

Ramiro: let me count all the sex ones.

[lisa @lisavosberg]

Playing the voting game:
Me: 44 cards!
Kelli: that’s pretty good!
Me: it’s because I’m dumb.

[lisa @lisavosberg]

@zwiggy14 That’s a good start 👍🏼

[lisa @lisavosberg]

I just got told I’m hosting thanksgiving. HELP.

[lisa @lisavosberg]

Kelli: Am I going to be out of place if I wear cowboy boots?

Me: Well, you’re not going to be in place. In Fargo, we wear Sorels.

[lisa @lisavosberg]

Sometimes I wonder how some people got their drivers license 🤦🏼‍♀️

[lisa @lisavosberg]

When you hear exactly what you needed to at church 🙏🏼

[lisa @lisavosberg]

Anybody else find the motivation to clean at 9:00 pm or is it just me?

[lisa @lisavosberg]

I slept my Saturday away and 💯 okay with that 😴

[lisa @lisavosberg]

Now that I’m finally getting back into running again, my shins splints that I haven’t had since high school are like hello, long time no see 😣

[lisa @lisavosberg]

I don’t take enough naps anymore.

[lisa @lisavosberg]

The nurse at the doctors office told me I was funny, but in reality I’m just awkward.

[lisa @lisavosberg]

Ice cream can always cure a bad day 🍦

[lisa @lisavosberg]

I enjoy spring cleaning more than the average person should! 🧼

[lisa @lisavosberg]

I need to get married soon, it’s getting ridiculous how many people can’t figure out my last name. “V as in victor, O, S as in Sam, B as in boy, E, R, G.”

[lisa @lisavosberg]

@baldman4life For sure 😂

[lisa @lisavosberg]

My patient told me I don’t have a boyfriend because I only deliver bad news. So I told him I don’t have a boyfriend because I’m sassy and have a bad attitude 🤣😉

[lisa @lisavosberg]

The Lion King can always cheer me up 🦁👑