alissa (jones) bautch

just doin my best

[alissa (jones) bautch @lissajones1]

Upon asking my soon-to-be 5 year old niece what she wants for her birthday:

“Fast shoes. I want to be fast.”

You got it baby girl.

[alissa (jones) bautch @lissajones1]

@HollySchu 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

[alissa (jones) bautch @lissajones1]

@LeoPauI 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

[Reeezy @MsReeezy]

Bernie dressed like the inauguration is on his to do list today but ain’t his whole day.

[Greta Thunberg @GretaThunberg]

He seems like a very happy old man looking forward to a bright and wonderful future. So nice to see!

[alissa (jones) bautch @lissajones1]

🥲

[Geraldine Just Follow TheEverywhereist on Threads @everywhereist]

How can you be thrown out of a Costco for refusing to wear a mask but not Congress

[Alex Cole @acnewsitics]

Now that Biden won, watch me not wear his name on my hat and not put a giant Biden flag on my truck and drive around with it for 4 years like a fucking weirdo.

[basil mcrae @shawlsohard]

congress:

[alissa (jones) bautch @lissajones1]

Honestly have you ever seen someone walk into the candy section at a gas station and pick a CRUNCH BAR?!?

[alissa (jones) bautch @lissajones1]

Sorry I can’t respond to your Teams message right now because I need to finish my Buzzfeed quiz on whether I’m more of a Kim Possible or Lizzie McGuire.

[alissa (jones) bautch @lissajones1]

@LeoPauI So 👏🏼 good 👏🏼

[alissa (jones) bautch @lissajones1]

@speechcoachjody Still waiting for my ice cream. I want a refund.

[Lostchi1d @Lostchi1d1]

Arrested at 17 for capital murder, I shot no one, triggerman was identified, I was at the scene but didn't have a gun, still in prison 18 yrs later, bail was denied. 17 yr old Kyle shot 3 people. All I can say is him & his family have been treated a lot better than me and mine.

[alissa (jones) bautch @lissajones1]

@maliaminnesota I’m shook.

[alissa (jones) bautch @lissajones1]

The the the duck may swim on the lake but my daddy OWNS the lake

[alissa (jones) bautch @lissajones1]

There’s always money in the banana stand.

[alissa (jones) bautch @lissajones1]

@condogmilionair Honey they’ve been back. Where have you been? Scott’s been rocking his since ‘03.

[David Grossman @davidgross_man]

Deutsche Bank, which funded Auschwitz, Donald Trump, Jeffrey Epstein and ISIS, wants you to consider your privilege