lisa ward

property of the clique

[Cat Damon @CornOnTheGoblin]

if you're literally asking me to choose between our relationship and my career as a reporter well then I've got some news for you

[Cat Damon @CornOnTheGoblin]

[leaving a birthday party with my piñata friend] i swear i didn't know they were going to do that
"Just take me home"

[lisa ward @lisward]

@kaleenapollock guilty

[lisa ward @lisward]

@kaleenapollock I have permanent residency actually 👌

[chip malfunction @online_shawn]

If you lie down on the floor in McDonald's you get to meet the manager

[capitalism liker @HumanPog]

its actually pretty simple:
if you don't like jurassic park, don't look at my jean jacket
now get out of my way, its my turn to bowl

[lisa ward @lisward]

when you nail a difficult parallel park and then foreigners tap on your window begging you to jump start their car #fuck #fine

[lisa ward @lisward]

my mom's better than yours

[lisa ward @lisward]

when you light a cigarette out of the toaster and realize you're turning into your mother

[Eliza Bayne @ElizaBayne]

Dance like North Korea didn't just test a hydrogen bomb

[Fred Delicious 🍆 @Fred_Delicious]

New to Netflix Kids: Making a Tickler

This toddler was sent to his room for 18 minutes for a tickle he didn't commit. Now he wants justice

[lisa ward @lisward]

people who cheers too much <

[weedchainsaw @tuckonthis]

leave some plankton for the rest of us, whales

[lisa ward @lisward]

@wess_themess @GarethMurano as if Gareth waits for finals to be over to drink liquor like water #pffff

[Rock @TheMichaelRock]

This girl I had a crush on back in high school keeps sending me game requests on Facebook that I ignore.

Payback's a bitch, Sarah.

[crispy315 @crispy_315]

What was the first guy to drink milk doing? Probably noticing that cows nurse their offspring. And that we nurse ours. And how sexy that is

[Gen @GensPlace]

How can someone be a bit of a perfectionist?

[lisa ward @lisward]

sometimes you just feel like a boss.

[lisa ward @lisward]

when you hate a coworker everyone seems to like and you finally crack and say something and find out everyone else hates them too. #notcrazy

[lisa ward @lisward]

lost in paradise