Casey Ellis

[John Slaughter, Esq. @JSlaughterEsq]

A couple of Germans on a road trip have done more to inspire patriotism ahead of America’s 250th anniversary than the entirety of the U.S. government.

[NFL Memes @NFLMemes]

BREAKING: New Spurs logo released after blowing 30-point lead in the NBA Finals

[Casey Ellis @littlestcasey]

Been waiting for this moment on their trip!

[Freddy🇩🇪 @FreddyLA7]

DUDE LMAO THIS IS A GAS STATION😭😭😭

[Ben Verlander @BenVerlander]

YORDAN ALVAREZ NOW LEADS THE AMERICAN LEAGUE IN ALL TRIPLE CROWN STATS

[Men's Humor @MensHumor]

Gen Z won't understand, but this woman dropped one of the hardest lines of the 2000's.

[Casey Ellis @littlestcasey]

@WellsFargo might actually be the worst bank of all time.

My purse was stolen, so I need a new card and ID. Which I can't get either of without the other.

Despite the fact that I can show that it's my account in multiple ways other than a phone number or ID.

Beyond frustrated.

[Casey Ellis @littlestcasey]

Just... Ugh.

[Apollo Dez @ApolloDez1]

It’s May 6th.

Current IL

Hunter Brown
Carlos Correa
Jeremy Pena
Josh Hader
Cristian Javier
Tatsuya Imai
Ronel Blanco
Jake Meyers
Yainer Diaz
Nate Pearson
Taylor Trammell
Joey Loperfido
Hayden Wesneski
Brandon Walter

[onionweigher 🧅⚖️ @onionweigher]

COMING SOON:

[Babe Laufenberg @BabeLaufenberg]

48 hours for my 43 year reign to end. An appropriately gloomy, rainy day here in North Texas. Even the sky is crying ( with a nod to Stevie Ray Vaughn) I will be passing the torch, hoping not to burn Fernando Mendoza’s passing hand. Thoughts and prayers for me, please. @IndianaFootball

[Zion @zionszzn]

I think the problem is nobody's had a 2am walmart trip in over 4 years

[Fuck You I Quit @fuckyouiquit]

I think about this tweet at least once a month

[octopus/caveman @octopuscaveman]

Every Gatorade commercial is an athlete. I just want 1 hungover person. That’s all I ask.

[Lammie_Art @Lammie_Art01]

Me at Walmart: No one will ever know I bought this dress for $7.

Stranger: I love your dress.

Me: GIRL, IT WAS $7 AT WALMART AND IT HAS POCKETS

[gwen howerton @kissphoria]

i am being tortured by the entity known as houston astros baseball

[gwen howerton @kissphoria]

if the artemis astronauts don't throw out the first pitch at an astros game this season what are we even doing

[Jason, ex Inferis @benedictsred]

Dude on that skateboard listening to Fleetwood Mac really had us thinking shit was getting better

[Benny Boy @Camel_Crushin]

To be a fly on the wall in the room where they planned that Kit Kat heist.

[Casey Ellis @littlestcasey]

Opening Day is finally here!!

[Myron Medcalf @MedcalfByESPN]

Trying to understand Houston and how you all dress down here. It’s 85 degrees outside, but 71 degrees in the shade but then the AC is set to 54 degrees in every building. Feel like I need the 90s NBA tear-off warmups or something this week.