Evan

Chinese programmer writing from inside modern China. Honest notes on tech, work, culture, relationships—and the everyday details outsiders rarely see. Read ↓

[Evan @liujun2345]

Why do East Asians feel guilty when they rest, while Europeans and Americans seem so much more relaxed?

In an agrarian civilization, if you don't farm for a year, you end up with no harvest.

But in a maritime civilization, if you don't fish for a year, there will be even more fish in the sea.

[Evan @liujun2345]

When Leslie Cheung took his own life, he reportedly had nearly $100 million sitting in his bank accounts. That was an astonishing amount of money, and materially speaking, he had virtually nothing left to worry about.

His career was also going incredibly well. As an actor and a singer, he was a bona fide superstar. In terms of achievements and success, he was undoubtedly at the very top. He was also a highly respected and accomplished figure.

Yet someone who was so wealthy, so famous, and so successful ultimately chose to take his own life.

So, does being rich really make you happy?

[Evan @liujun2345]

History teaches us a pattern: people are always fighting. First, the loyal and decent are killed; then the brave and upright; and finally, the wise and sincere. Once all the idealists have left the stage of history, what remains is a contest between hypocrites and outright villains. Don’t underestimate them—history is often written by people like that.

[Evan @liujun2345]

As you get older, you realize you don’t actually need that many friends—and you don’t have the time to maintain so many friendships. In the end, happiness and freedom come down to two things: having a solid financial foundation and a harmonious family life. That’s enough. Many people’s problem is that they waste their time on relationships that don’t really matter.

[Evan @liujun2345]

In the game of love, there are two things men never seem to understand:

First, when a woman has nowhere else to turn, she’ll marry a man. When a man has nowhere else to turn, a woman will divorce him.

Second, when a woman says she’s breaking up with a man because they’re “just not right for each other,” and it’s “not about money,” it’s actually about money.

[Evan @liujun2345]

My mother was hospitalized in the cardiology ward. I was bored, so I took a walk around the inpatient unit and suddenly noticed something terrifying:

I couldn’t find a single elderly man who was hospitalized. They were all women in their seventies or eighties.

The only man there was looking after an elderly woman.

There were four elderly women chatting in the room, and all the men had left.

From what I heard, they all took very good care of themselves. Even the slightest problem, and they’d insist on being admitted to the hospital.

Men really don’t pay much attention to their health.

[Evan @liujun2345]

One of the most important things to learn in life is how to walk away—not how to communicate, tolerate, or forgive.

Knowing when to leave is a life skill, and an incredibly important one.

Realizing that you can leave—that you have the freedom and ability to move on—is one of the most important realizations you can have in life.

If an environment isn’t right for you, leave. If someone isn’t right for you, walk away. If someone hurts you, put as much distance between you and them as you need.

Knowing when and how to move can help you avoid most of the problems life throws your way.

[Evan @liujun2345]

Comfort-seeking personality:

The moment work gets difficult, you want to quit. The moment a relationship hits a rough patch, you want to break up. The moment you feel a little down, you want to take the day off. The moment you run into difficulties, you just want to give up on the spot.

[Evan @liujun2345]

People really should have a son. It’s so wonderful to have a son.

[Evan @liujun2345]

A friend once said that whenever she feels stuck, she imagines herself at 85 years old, suddenly given the chance to return to her younger body for just one day. All at once, everything feels magical again—a walk, a cup of coffee, music, sunshine. And then, every ordinary day, just like today, feels like a miracle.

[Evan @liujun2345]

Try your best to stay away from anyone or anything that makes you feel fearful, depressed, or anxious. Prolonged emotional distress can weaken the immune system throughout the body, making you more susceptible to serious illnesses, such as frequent colds, gastritis, skin conditions, and malignant tumors.

[Evan @liujun2345]

Why are women’s bodies so soft?

Estrogen causes the skin to become softer and the muscles to become weaker. Therefore, in order to appeal to men, women have evolved to accentuate these traits.

After menopause, estrogen levels decline and androgen levels increase, so middle-aged and older women’s muscles begin to develop again, and their physical fighting ability rises sharply.

A 30-year-old woman can’t beat a 30-year-old man in a fight. But a 60-year-old woman can easily crush a 60-year-old man. Women are only soft when they’re young.

As women reach middle and old age, they become strong again.

[Evan @liujun2345]

Trump: What are our chances of winning if we go to war with China? Think tank: China has a provincial-level region called Xinjiang. It’s about the same size as Iran, and its total GDP is also roughly the same as Iran’s. Trump: So how many provinces do they have? Think tank: Excluding the four municipalities directly under the central government, there are 30 in total. Trump: $300 billion each, times 30... China is our good friend.

[Evan @liujun2345]

Programmers are very similar to another traditional profession.

1. Both are careers that favor the young, and once you get older, people start to look down on you.

2. Doing either job for too long can easily take a toll on your health.

3. Both can make you money very quickly.

4. The better your skills, the more money you make.

5. Most people dream of making enough money and then quitting.

6. A small number of people, after gaining enough experience and seniority, stop doing the work themselves and instead lead a large group of younger people doing it.

7. In both professions, there’s a one-in-a-hundred chance of making a huge leap up the social ladder.

8. Besides physical exhaustion, you may also suffer psychological torment—and it usually comes from a man older than you.

[Evan @liujun2345]

A college classmate of mine told me something recently. He said that maybe it’s because he’s getting older, but over the past few years, his physical condition has suddenly become much worse. It’s not that he’s sick—the most noticeable change is that his “energy bar” has become incredibly short. Even a little exertion drains him, and he feels terrible almost every day. He said that if he weren’t teaching at a university, he feels like his career might even be in jeopardy.

This led him to an idea: maybe the reason most people struggle in life has little to do with intelligence. Maybe it’s simply because they have low energy—their energy bar is too short, so they run out of fuel quickly and everything feels exhausting.

My classmate said that back in high school, he never felt that anything was particularly difficult. He would get up at 5:30 every morning and go to bed at 11:30 at night, yet he was in great shape and full of energy all day. He handled everything with ease and ended up ranking among the top students in his entire city.

Now it’s exactly the opposite. He feels that he can only stay focused for about three hours a day before his mind starts to drift and his concentration falls apart. He said that if he had been in this condition back in high school, he probably would have struggled even to get into a junior college.

[Evan @liujun2345]

Among the coworkers around me:

Woman A died from overwork at 38. Just like that, she was gone. Man B went to the restroom while at work and died of a heart attack at 40. Man C, 39, died in a car accident while driving to work. Man D, 42, went out drinking after work and passed away.

Just being alive is already something to be grateful for. Seriously, don’t overthink all those unnecessary things.

[Evan @liujun2345]

I strongly recommend that everyone go to bed early.

My girlfriend’s former coworker was born in 1991. Just a few days ago, a few of us were still having dinner together. Last night, they suddenly suffered a brain hemorrhage and were rushed to the ICU.

Apparently, the bleeding was about 80 mL. I don’t know exactly which part of the brain was affected, but the situation is extremely critical right now.

Staying up late, high work stress, and irregular eating habits can really take a toll on your health.

[Evan @liujun2345]

I read an article today saying that if nothing in life makes you happy and the only pleasure you get is from watching porn, you should probably go to a hospital and get checked to see whether you might be depressed.

In fact, there are a huge number of people with depression; most of them just don’t realize it. If you feel depressed and miserable every day, can’t find joy in anything, have no interest in doing anything, don’t want to do anything at all, or even suffer from unexplained headaches or stomachaches on a daily basis and constantly feel awful, there’s a good chance you may be depressed. A lot of people go through the most critical stages of their lives in this condition, and just like that, their lives can end up being derailed.

Generally speaking, children from middle-class families seem more likely to be identified as having depression. I used to think it was because these kids had it too easy and were making problems for themselves. Later, I realized it may actually be because their parents are more likely to notice when something isn’t right with their children.

[Evan @liujun2345]

A lot of people may not realize this, but there’s now an entire category of businesses built around making money off stay-at-home moms. It’s not exactly scamming them—it’s just that this group is particularly willing to pay. You tell them certain things, make them anxious, then drop a link to an online course, and a lot of them will buy it. Most of them won’t even watch the course after buying it anyway.

If you connect this with the recent discussion about how “women are more inclined to push their kids academically,” you can see a broader issue: when women reach middle age, they often become extremely anxious and highly driven to improve themselves and their families.

At the same time, the vast majority of middle-aged men become increasingly negative and lose their drive. Maybe it’s also because women realize their husbands aren’t getting anywhere, so they start panicking and trying all sorts of things—only to end up losing quite a bit of money in the process.

[Evan @liujun2345]

I came across a video of a programmer who was choking back tears and could barely speak. It turned out that his company had adopted AI coding and laid off half of its programmers. The skills he had spent ten years learning had suddenly become useless, and he was so devastated he could hardly put it into words.

I've lived through many similar transitions where new things replaced old ones. In situations like this, there's only one way to respond: start learning new AI skills immediately. Right now, there isn't much competition, so there's still time to get ahead if you start now.

If I were in my twenties, I'd be spending more than ten hours a day learning this stuff. Adapting to the times is far more important than sitting still and feeling miserable about what's happening.

If you're going to ask me exactly what you should learn... don't. Figure it out yourself.