tapir fucker

be so hard on yourself, Simon. Come on, let me buy you a milkshake.

[tapir fucker @livveydiv]

She cheese my burger til I pie

[tapir fucker @livveydiv]

'im going ham' i say as the hamformation begins

[tapir fucker @livveydiv]

'the other day' is such a funny phrase like what day? Wouldn't you like to know lol

[tapir fucker @livveydiv]

'am i autistic' i say aloud to myself every day on the drive home from work

[tapir fucker @livveydiv]

*starts hyperventilating and crying* oh no im having a swag attack!!!!

[tapir fucker @livveydiv]

im converting my household to Tamers12345 my roommate now watches his videos when im not around. 1/3 down

[tapir fucker @livveydiv]

Assigned Baby At Birth

[tapir fucker @livveydiv]

*fills my hope chest with vibrators*

[tapir fucker @livveydiv]

Jesus take the wheel call that miracle whip

[tapir fucker @livveydiv]

adding a new Weezer song to the playlist every time i talk to her

[tapir fucker @livveydiv]

need to start wearing longer dresses so these Spanx can get a break theyve been holding it down singlepantsedly for a week

[tapir fucker @livveydiv]

I walk into HomeGoods and immediately begin fighting the urge to attack people

[tapir fucker @livveydiv]

@ emergency room it fucking sucks they stuck a stick up my nose and there's no soup

[tapir fucker @livveydiv]

It hurts so much to swallow that im drooling + choking on spit but am too polite to wake my mom up to go hospital.. good breeding is my downfall

[tapir fucker @livveydiv]

How did they handle acne back in the day did they just murder their husbands so they could wear a giant veil for 2 years

[tapir fucker @livveydiv]

It feels like I've been stabbed in the tonsil pussy serious pussy delirious

[tapir fucker @livveydiv]

Nicki Minaj: Fuck da skinny bitches fuck da skinny bitches in the club
Me, a scrawny 15 year old with body dysmorphia:

[tapir fucker @livveydiv]

I can feel the boogers in my chest