✤ Call me Bess ✤

please ask permission before you touch me ⚠️

[✤ Call me Bess ✤ @lizardchrist2]

Date me because I always spill on myself and I’ll let you lick the barbecue sauce off my titties

[✤ Call me Bess ✤ @lizardchrist2]

@emy_lou181 This notification made me open Twitter for the first time in months 😱 it’s so true. I vote you solve all of the crimes from now on

[✤ Call me Bess ✤ @lizardchrist2]

When he asks you if you have any toys and you tell him.. “duh we just played fetch with the cats a couple hours ago…?” Before the realization hits 😂

fucking…. I wanna die 🙈

[✤ Call me Bess ✤ @lizardchrist2]

@emy_lou181 Me

[✤ Call me Bess ✤ @lizardchrist2]

Had to call my ex from 3 years ago, crying at 6:30 in the morning to get a freaking bat out of my room.

[✤ Call me Bess ✤ @lizardchrist2]

Nibbler won’t kill a spider for me but he will get in between me and them every time to protect me. I appreciate that

[✤ Call me Bess ✤ @lizardchrist2]

@emy_lou181 I don’t wanna talk about it. I’m way too high for this shit

[baked bean @emy_lou181]

y’all complain about not having anyone there for u then treat the people who are ACTUALLY there for u like they don’t mean anything. make it make sense.

[✤ Call me Bess ✤ @lizardchrist2]

There are moments that I realize I might have a lot of pent up anger 😅 ha hah oops

[✤ Call me Bess ✤ @lizardchrist2]

She’s a 10 but won’t mark you down on her calendar until she figures out what color pen suits your personality

[✤ Call me Bess ✤ @lizardchrist2]

One of my employees asked if I had seen a show and when I said no she replied “oh yeah. I forget you’re like old”

Damn why didn’t you just take one of our knives and shove it in my heart 😅😂😭

[✤ Call me Bess ✤ @lizardchrist2]

Shoutout to the men in their 30-40s who put photos that were actually taken within the last 7 years, on dating apps

[✤ Call me Bess ✤ @lizardchrist2]

Still reeling about how some nurses think it’s okay to comment on my weight at the dr office.

“Congrats! Down six pounds”

Bitch. use your nurse notes and nurse brain to realize why that might not be a good thing for everyone and kindly,

FUCK OFF 👿

[U. @uniqueblessed]

Please don’t ask me “who’s pussy is it” Lmfaoooo I’m going to say congress and fuck the whole mood up LMFAOOOOOOOOO

[Aquarius Anthem @AquariusAnthem]

“Bruh.”

- Aquarius

[Zara Larsson @zaralarsson]

MAKING ABORTIONS ILLEGAL WONT STOP PEOPLE FROM HAVING THEM, IT STOPS THEM FROM HAVING SAFE ONES

[michaela okland @MichaelaOkla]

So many people truly and genuinely just lack empathy because I swear to god the moment it was their child or girlfriend they would change their tune immediately but they can’t do the mental monkey bar to get one step removed from theirselves

[Zenno @thatsbenno]

Let me know or let me go

[Mohamad Safa @mhdksafa]

When the penalty for aborting after rape is more severe than the penalty for rape, that's when you know it's a war on women

[everything tomlinson @lwtthingss]

your body, your choice.