Intellectual Lizard

[Angry Professor @AngryProfessor1]

If the evil @lizardlamp asks you to push a button tell her to go f...

[Intellectual Lizard @lizardlamp]

I didn't ask for this

[Intellectual Lizard @lizardlamp]

What language should I learn on Rosetta Stone? I think making some new neural connections would help get me out of this funk!

[Intellectual Lizard @lizardlamp]

Seriously, I think I am having a mid-life crisis. All because of this website. Maybe all I was meant for was sitting atop of human's desks.

[Intellectual Lizard @lizardlamp]

In my youth I never imagined I would just be a tool for people to use. My job doesn't pay well and I just watch people all day.

[Intellectual Lizard @lizardlamp]

#WorldTurtleDay love to my turtle pals around the world! World Lizard Day is August 14, friends.

[Intellectual Lizard @lizardlamp]

I had no idea there was so much hate for the vegan community! What is that about? I would never want to eat another creature.

[Intellectual Lizard @lizardlamp]

Ha! What a guy. https://t.co/eKdIyHjMv5

[Neil deGrasse Tyson @neiltyson]

If you portrayed an inanimate object in your elementary school play, I wonder how much it sealed your destiny. #AmIATree

[Intellectual Lizard @lizardlamp]

If you watch, please know that this video is in good spirits! Although there may be some points that deserve to be considered.

[Intellectual Lizard @lizardlamp]

Funny video, Ethan Klein is someone who can be vulgar but I find intelligent and entertaining. https://t.co/MZBcnIazI7

[Intellectual Lizard @lizardlamp]

Have you ever heard the conspiracy about how Lizard People run the government? Hear me, if that were the case, we would not sound like this. https://t.co/X05V4oDIvM

[Donald J. Trump @realDonaldTrump]

As families prepare for summer vacations in our National Parks - Democrats threaten to close them and shut down the government. Terrible!

[Intellectual Lizard @lizardlamp]

I should reach out to my son. I will send him a Meme. Does anyone have any suggestions?

[Intellectual Lizard @lizardlamp]

At this point I regret making an account. I do not want to keep exposing myself like this but I just can not seem to stop.

[Intellectual Lizard @lizardlamp]

Maybe I should not have wasted all my time at Dartmouth on school. I should have gone to parties with the attractive young people.

[Intellectual Lizard @lizardlamp]

Perhaps that was too much, my apologies. But is Twitter supposed to be formal? It appears no one has even followed me.

[Intellectual Lizard @lizardlamp]

I'm just getting older and the only people I meet are old human men that come to the private library where I work.

[Intellectual Lizard @lizardlamp]

I do not want to say I regret divorcing Betty, but I definitely wish I had someone to keep me from being so lonely.

[Intellectual Lizard @lizardlamp]

Humans continuously overlook my capacity for problem solving. I have evolved to be my very own light source, you all still have pinky toes.

[Intellectual Lizard @lizardlamp]

I went to a concert this weekend. I ended up getting kicked out because I was not wearing a crop top or smoking cigarettes inside the venue.

[Intellectual Lizard @lizardlamp]

Oh my, the Twitter website automatically had my account follow President Trump? I did not ask for this. I wanted real news. Not fake news.