I hate girls that kiss ass just so they can be friends with everyone. You don’t have to like everybody. Everybody doesn’t have to like you. There’s more value in having 3 close friends instead of 25 distant associates.
Mom: “Don’t wind up the dog”
My Brain:
Don’t do it
Don’t do it
Don’t do it
Don’t do it
Don’t do it
Don’t do it
Don’t do it
Don’t do it
Don’t do it
Don’t do it
Me:
I’ve gotten asked too many times if we’re open tomorrow like NO ITS THANKSGIVING pls enjoy time with your loved ones and let the people who work all the time enjoy their loved ones too 🙄😒
Guys: I have cracked the code. Yesterday morning I woke my wife up, I kissed her cheek, and I whispered softly in her ear:
“I’m taking you to get mimosas. Let’s go get drunk at 10:00 in the morning”
I swear to god I’ve never seen her so happy.