Don’t ever be embarrassed about your life. We all go through things that shake us, humble us, or force us to start over. Moving back home, losing your job, getting your heart broken, going through a divorce, hitting a low mentally… it’s all a part of being human.
Most of our needs as adults are trauma-led. What we lacked is what we look for in partners and friends. Not all the needs we have are “healthy”. An example is wanting a partner to constantly talk/hangout with you. It stems from never having present parents so you develop
bare face, 20k steps a day, lifting 5x a week, meditation, reading, 2L of water a day, yoga, daily sunscreen, journaling, ambient music, unprocessed foods, no heat on hair, reading, lotus incense
you must believe you are special and then go so hard, for so long, with such violent refusal to accept any other ending, that reality itself starts running out of ways to tell you no. you must wage a war daily against the ordinary outcome, until the belief you invented out of nothing in a room by yourself has been hammered into the world so many times that it stops being a claim and becomes reality.