Pete V

[Pete V @LmnoPVL]

@LordXsg 10

[Pete V @LmnoPVL]

@Garymcb73 @Mike_kim714 You must be a hoot at parties, Gary.

[Pete V @LmnoPVL]

So, @denisleary, are the Leafs going to make the playoffs, or what?

[Pete V @LmnoPVL]

@LmnoPVL @KelseysEM

[Pete V @LmnoPVL]

Yumminess at Kelsey's.

[Pete V @LmnoPVL]

I wish people walked around with color coded hats reflecting their intelligence levels. Then I'd know which idiots to avoid.

[Pete V @LmnoPVL]

I had a dinner date last night and she started choking on a piece of steak. Of course I saved her life. But the gag reflex was duly noted.

[جســــار @Jassar_80]

I knew it.

[Pete V @LmnoPVL]

@The_GetawayGirl I'm sorry... I didn't do it on purpose...leaving immediately...

[Pete V @LmnoPVL]

I made the big mistake of watching porn outtakes. I was SHOCKED to learn those woman werent actually a friends hot mom ... I'm devastated.

[Pete V @LmnoPVL]

todays Doberman is brought to you by the letter "S"

[Not your dream girl @nettie0918]

So that's what happens.

[Mikey @KrunkedRobot]

Got stoned and filled out my NCAA bracket, so far I have a mustard stain losing to a drawing of my cat skateboarding.

[Jim Shorts @GoNavy_32]

I made a cow laugh yesterday and milk shot out of its nose.

[Pete V @LmnoPVL]

Q: name 2 things lotion and chronic masturbation have in common? ........ answer ... ME

[Pete V @LmnoPVL]

if kryptonite came shaped like boobs ... it would be doubly effective on me

[Pete V @LmnoPVL]

how do you if a girl is a lesbian? Give her a couple of test tickles!

[ClockTowerGirl @ClockTowerGirl]

#petpeeves

[Pete V @LmnoPVL]

@lnsaneTweets I know 4 of them!

[Pete V @LmnoPVL]

@LexeGrey it would be even more strange if it was in someone else's house now!