If you catch yourself BEGGING someone for.....human decency? a response? time together? clarity? respect? some compassion? some kindness?
You need to take a step back and realize that you're begging someone for the bare minimum. That's ridiculous and beneath you. Fuck that.
A healing stage is disgust. Yes, disgust. You will be DISGUSTED by the people whose love you sought. You will feel embarrassed about the choices you made and the people who had access to you who didn’t deserve it. Feel this feeling then let it go.
That will NEVER be you again.