Lauren Fey

[Lauren Fey @lnfey8]

I WOULD PLEASE LIKE BABY SHARK TO GET OUT OF MY HEAD FOR LIKE ONE MINUTE

[Lauren Fey @lnfey8]

I was always so confused by the phrase until I just now realized “slow your roll” was not about literal 🥖.

[Lauren Fey @lnfey8]

Why are they called “semi trucks” when they are way bigger than other trucks??

[Lauren Fey @lnfey8]

My students decided we should rename Old Faithful to “Geezer Geyser.” I don’t disagree.

[Lauren Fey @lnfey8]

“Nothing to see here.” -my pizza lying in the middle of 57th Street.

[Lauren Fey @lnfey8]

Picture this: premiere night of the new @Lin_Manuel Broadway musical. It’s a smash hit already. And I wake up right before my debut. (As the big bad wolf, but still.) 😩

[Lauren Fey @lnfey8]

What do you call a puppy in the basement?

A subwoofer.

(A joke I just made up.)
@sarahklongerbo

[Lauren Fey @lnfey8]

When your baby says “amen” and attempts to fold her hands for the first time

[Lauren Fey @lnfey8]

I am SO SHOCKED everyone else in Sioux Falls had the same idea as me to go to HyVee and Papa Murphy’s before the blizzard!!!

[Lauren Fey @lnfey8]

My brain every time I try to take a nap:
#hotdogsong

[Lauren Fey @lnfey8]

My good deed of the day was throwing away the empty box of donuts so nobody else would be fooled as I was. 😢

[Lauren Fey @lnfey8]

Highlight of the week so far: introducing 2018’s 4th graders to the joys of “Space Jam.”

[Lauren Fey @lnfey8]

Someone please tell me why I have “Someone’s in the Kitchen with Dinah” in my head.

[Lauren Fey @lnfey8]

@vanstryland Haha! That is awesome... you can do it, Lauren! 👏🏻😄📚

[Lauren Fey @lnfey8]

To the people wearing parkas and Uggs at Huntington Beach: 🙄🙄🙄

[Lauren Fey @lnfey8]

May the records show on this day, the thirtieth of December in the year twenty-seventeen, my husband went to see a doctor when he was sick.

[Lauren Fey @lnfey8]

To accommodate all my family’s dietary intolerances, next year I will be bringing a food-free dessert to Christmas.

[Lauren Fey @lnfey8]

4th grade boy: “Mrs. Fey, I know it’s really exciting leaving for break, but I’m also a little sad too.”

*heart melts*

[Lauren Fey @lnfey8]

Kids are always WAY more into snow globes in movies than they are in real life.

[Lauren Fey @lnfey8]

Epiphany: Rascal Flats are the country version of Alvin and the Chipmunks.