Loren Burandt

“I am women, the smartest species of them all!”

[Loren Burandt @lo_burandt]

Noticed that my college ex has really gotten into tank tops. Needless to say, he's been making poor choices since he broke up with me.

[Loren Burandt @lo_burandt]

Me to Dustin while we’re living in our trailer during termite renting: “I think we need to sage our house when we get back!”

[Loren Burandt @lo_burandt]

Hi, 2021?! You there?! It’s me, Loren. Begging you to be better than 2020!!!

[Ashley Fern @disco_infern0]

can’t wait for my kid to bitch at me for grounding him & I get to say, “when I was your age we were locked in the house FOR MONTHS, we couldn’t even leave the country, so stop complaining.”

[Loren Burandt @lo_burandt]

My goddaughter straight up thought my beauty mark on my ear was a rolly poley and I just can’t get over it 💀

[Loren Burandt @lo_burandt]

Dustin said he’d rather sit in silence than listen to folklore. The wedding has been called off.

[Loren Burandt @lo_burandt]

Taylor Swift dropping a new album...because my emotions aren’t already running at an all time high right now!!!

[Loren Burandt @lo_burandt]

Woof. We can only hope the 2021 date doesn’t go down the drain too!

[betchesbrides @betchesbrides]

the only good thing to happen in 2020 is that I was able to postpone to a 2021 wedding date.

[Loren Burandt @lo_burandt]

Just now realizing the odd number years have always been better to me.

[betchesbrides @betchesbrides]

"being engaged in 2020 is fun because all the uncertainty keeps things spicy!" said no one ever

[Loren Burandt @lo_burandt]

Me waiting for Newsom to make his announcement on the return of some stay-at-home restrictions while also trying to plan a wedding.

[Loren Burandt @lo_burandt]

The accuracy.

[Loren Burandt @lo_burandt]

Laughing at what a joke 2020 has been! But hey look at me I got my wedding dress! #coronabride

[Loren Burandt @lo_burandt]

Wear 👏🏼 your 👏🏼 fucking 👏🏼 mask!!

[Loren Burandt @lo_burandt]

Admitting I laughed way too hard at a few episodes of “The Floor is Lava” tonight.

[Hannah Berner @beingbernz]

I was worried about the future of this country, but then Netflix started to show the top 10 shows the US is watching and now I can confirm this country is a dumpster fire.

[Loren Burandt @lo_burandt]

Y’all...I just had to look up what GOAT means. I’m that OLD!!! #GOAT

[Loren Burandt @lo_burandt]

That’s like saying without paying my bills, I’d be showing more money in my bank account....🙄

[Donald J. Trump @realDonaldTrump]

Our testing is so much bigger and more advanced than any other country (we have done a great job on this!) that it shows more cases. Without testing, or weak testing, we would be showing almost no cases. Testing is a double edged sword - Makes us look bad, but good to have!!!

[Loren Burandt @lo_burandt]

Nobody wants to party with me 🥺 #SundayFunday

[Loren Burandt @lo_burandt]

🤠 I wanna be a cowboy baby

[Loren Burandt @lo_burandt]

Old fashions tonight 🥃 “this gonna get me good fucked up!”

[Loren Burandt @lo_burandt]

Me: “Was that a noise outside or did you fart?”
Dustin: “Sure!”

[Loren Burandt @lo_burandt]

“Sometimes you just gotta throw a ravioli.” I don’t know if I’ve ever related to a housewife more. #RHONY