Scooch

“Not bad for a retard” - my mom. Once referred to as “Broski”. He/him/heinous

[Scooch @localpooch]

[me standing in the street with an erection] buhhhh

[cool guy giving me the finger guns point] hey dude that’s wassup aha

[Scooch @localpooch]

How do I get one of those jobs that just lets you post up at the gym at all hours of the day 7 days a week

[chad @chasedbywasps]

step-chad

[Scooch @localpooch]

I literally don’t care about the straight of homos

[Dr. Dick @drdicks_dubs]

Call me clam the way I chowed her

[Scooch @localpooch]

I need a bad bitch to swaddle me

[Scooch @localpooch]

John Kirkenoff

[Definitely Nick @other_st_nick]

I think it’s unethical to use liquid IV or even ibuprofen when you’re hungover. I’m pro excessive drinking but you should have to pay the consequences of it later

[Scooch @localpooch]

Listening to an 8 minute single ambient tone to get hyped at the gym

[Scooch @localpooch]

Does anyone know if it gets any better tomorrow?

[Scooch @localpooch]

If thinking of a place by the war on drugs comes on I have no choice but to drop whatever I’m doing and transcend

[Scooch @localpooch]

I’m rotating a sandwich in my mind and freaking the fuck out as it falls apart

[Scooch @localpooch]

On my rip van winkle type shit

[Scooch @localpooch]

Nooooo don’t get nuked you’re so sexy

[Scooch @localpooch]

Self immolating cause I love this bar so much

[Scooch @localpooch]

let’s take the molly now we have to be rolling when they play sex is on fire

[Scooch @localpooch]

@justinbecker472 My SHEIN parka is not working as advertised

[A @justinbecker472]

SHEIN guys in winter be like are you guys also cold.. or no

[ppigg @s4m31p4n]

Leaving a Camembert burger out for Santa

[Scooch @localpooch]

Pleading with my friends to send me a happy dad drinker guy vid so I can go out again tonight