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Geezer who says it how it is! Married. Dont like what I say, unfollow/block me or do one. #LUFC FAN. Anti leftist, wokists ect.

[Chris Milner 🦊 @chris_railway]

🙄

[😀🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧 @loftyman1]

#LUFC
Leicester 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[😀🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧 @loftyman1]

@TheSheepscar when will the new york road bar open?

[😀🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧 @loftyman1]

#alaw
#LUFC
Russ Harker is raising £3000 to Repair Damage to the Old Peacock Beer Garden, TV and 8 Picnic Tables During Promotion Celebrations. Check out their @JustGiving page and please donate if you can. Thank you! #JustGiving https://t.co/rBXy8Cblow

[😀🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧 @loftyman1]

#lcfc
Deserve to be where you are. Relegation is inevitable 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[😀🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧 @loftyman1]

#leeds #lufc
Absolutely disgusting this.
https://t.co/r4Hu79z7vn

[😀🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧 @loftyman1]

#leeds #lufc
Absolutely disgusting this.
https://t.co/r4Hu79z7vn

[😀🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧 @loftyman1]

@hannahbrad @TheMintLane We'll end up overpaying for someone who'll get injured playing his first match, then buy someone nobody's heard of a couple of cheap (strikers) only worthy of national league and then (after going into bottom 3) panic buy in the next transfer window a couple more nobody's

[😀🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧 @loftyman1]

#lufc
Was hoping Wober might make a name for himself in the Euros. Yellow card & an own goal .... Mmmm, is he good enough for us?

[😀🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧 @loftyman1]

I predict a points deduction, I predict a points deduction. 😂

#lufc

[Leeds United @LUFC]

🎶 I predict a riot! 🎶

[😀🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧 @loftyman1]

#lufc
Title winning performance, never give in attitude. Fans unbelievable, #MOT

[😀🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧 @loftyman1]

@Mummy_Misfit That'll keep ya busy. 😂
Hope you're enjoying the new place

[😀🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧 @loftyman1]

@Mummy_Misfit Good luck

[😀🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧 @loftyman1]

@Mummy_Misfit So this is it. The big move? Don't blame you for "Finishing off the dregs" 😂

[LeedsLive News @leedslivenews]

Leeds woman 'prisoner in own home' as nightmare resident leaves her 'terrified' https://t.co/vHt8FNKVQN

[😀🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧 @loftyman1]

@leedslivenews Why would the council move someone with "problems" in an area for old people? Surely they knew there would be trouble. Someone should lose their job for this!

[steve @bagshaw2112]

OMG , this is hilarious!!! Pl are read it all to brighten up your day . And repost so there can have a laugh 😆

WARNING ABOUT VEET HAIR REMOVAL CREAM. Please share to save lives of men

After having been told my danglies looked like an elderly rastafarian I decided to take the plunge and buy some of this as previous shaving attempts had only been mildly successful and I nearly put my back out trying to reach the more difficult bits.

Being a bit of a romantic I thought I would do the deed on the missus's birthday as a bit of a treat.I ordered it well in advance and working in the North sea I considered myself a bit above some of the characters writing the previous reviews and wrote them off as soft office types...oh my fellow sufferers how wrong I was.

I waited until the other half was tucked up in bed and after giving some vague hints about a special surprise I went down to the bathroom. Initially all went well and I applied the gel and stood waiting for something to happen. I didn't have long to wait.

At first there was a gentle warmth which in a matter of seconds was replaced by an intense burning and a feeling I can only describe as like being given a barbed wire wedgie by two people intent on hitting the ceiling with my head.

Religion hadn't featured much in my life until that night but I suddenly became willing to convert to any religion to stop the violent burning around the turd tunnel and what seemed like the destruction of the meat and two veg.

Struggling to not bite through my bottom lip I tried to wash the gel of in the sink and only succeeded in blocking the plughole with a mat of hair.Through the haze of tears I struggled out of the bathroom across the hall into the kitchen by this time walking was not really possible and I crawled the final yard to the fridge in the hope of some form of cold relief.

I yanked the freezer drawer out and found a tub of ice cream, tore the lid of and positioned it under me. The relief was fantastic but only temporary as it melted fairly quickly and the fiery stabbing soon returned.

Due to the shape of the ice cream tub I hadn't managed to give the starfish any treatment and I groped around in the draw for something else as I was sure my vision was going to fail fairly soon. I grabbed a bag of what I later found out was frozen sprouts and tore it open trying to be quiet as I did so. I took a handful of them and tried in vain to clench some between the cheeks of my arse.

This was not doing the trick as some of the gel had found it's way up the chutney channel and it felt like the space shuttle was running it's engines behind me.This was probably and hopefully the only time in my life I was going to wish there was a gay snowman in the kitchen which should give you some idea of the depths I was willing to sink to in order to ease the pain.

The only solution my pain crazed mind could come up with was to gently ease one of the sprouts where no veg had gone before.

Unfortunately, alerted by the strange grunts coming from the kitchen the other half chose that moment to come and investigate and was greeted by the sight of me, arse in the air, strawberry ice cream dripping from my bell end pushing a sprout up my arse while muttering..." Ooooh that feels good "

Understandingly this was a shock to her and she let out a scream and as I hadn't heard her come in it caused an involuntary spasm of shock in myself which resulted in the sprout being ejected at quite some speed in her direction.

I can understand that having a sprout farted against your leg at 11 at night in the kitchen probably wasn't the special surprise she was expecting and having to explain to the kids the next day what the strange hollow in the ice cream was didn't improve my status...

So to sum it up Veet removes hair, dignity and self respect....... :-o

[😀🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧 @loftyman1]

@Mummy_Misfit Congratulations Amanda. It seems like an age ago that you were talking about moving to Scotland.
Don't stress about moving. It's all in the planning. Think of it as one of your books, a begining a middle and an end. I'm sure it will all go smoothly 👍