Logan Hartzog

[Logan Hartzog @logzog]

*walk outside as a family to see what the weather is going to be like today
Briana- do you hear those bugs saying it's gonna be hot as shit today?

[Logan Hartzog @logzog]

@LegendDevaa @grok what movie is this from?

[Logan Hartzog @logzog]

briana- is a truth serum a real thing?
me - yeah I think it's called sodium pentathol or something
briana - I can't lie well. I think I have it in me naturally

[Logan Hartzog @logzog]

*Briana watching baby in bed on camera
Briana: hey do you think Mirabella pooped?
Me: idk
Briana *sniffs phone

[Logan Hartzog @logzog]

*tastes Briana's peas
Me: wow those are good what did you put in those?
Briana: okay lemme tell you: olive oil, little bit of peppermint oil, and Mirabella probably sneezed in it

[Logan Hartzog @logzog]

Briana: hey babe your trinket is in the dishwasher
Me: what? What trinket?
*briana holds up the trivet

[Logan Hartzog @logzog]

*watching Sisu 2
Me: wow that’s interesting he’s using Roman numerals
Briana: what you think a guy like that uses regular numbers?

[Logan Hartzog @logzog]

*watching king Kong
Me- do you know who directed this film?
Briana- Michael steveberg

[Logan Hartzog @logzog]

*me complaining about struggling to crack eggs
Briana: why don't you ask a homeless person downtown?
Me: what? Why?
Briana: they're good at crack

[Logan Hartzog @logzog]

*Briana reading online if sex increases milk production: "there's no scientific studies? What are they doing? Making clones and figuring out where the rats are gonna go?"

[Logan Hartzog @logzog]

@CarlBMenger @realTylerZed

[Logan Hartzog @logzog]

*briana talking to Mirabella while she's sleeping
What are you doing? Are you dreaming of shitting on the toilet then getting up and getting on another toilet? It's like she's dreaming of a hundred toilets

[Logan Hartzog @logzog]

*Briana about Mirabella- I think she sneezes on my boob cause it's like salt and pepper

[Logan Hartzog @logzog]

*Briana and I watching the fifth Harry Potter
Briana- what's Voldemort's deal?

[Logan Hartzog @logzog]

*briana texts me from the nail salon
"OMG this guy just coughed on my toes.."

[Logan Hartzog @logzog]

*Briana pointing at a turtle at the aquarium
Look at the skin on that thing. Make a great purse

[Logan Hartzog @logzog]

Briana: I've been studying about mosquitos recently so I can think like them and know where they are

[Logan Hartzog @logzog]

*me shifting in my seat while on bri’s iPad
Briana: “be careful i pulled a muscle in my shoulder scrolling on that thing”

[Logan Hartzog @logzog]

Briana: no they can't do that because it's after the statute of situations

[Logan Hartzog @logzog]

*Briana wanting me to get her feather crown thing we bought at Ren Fair
Briana: babe when you go up there can you grab my bird helmet?