lonelyspouse30

Marriage ain't easy.

[lonelyspouse30 @lonelyspouse30]

I want to be the last thing she thinks about at night. Alas, I am not, even though I sleep next to her :(

[lonelyspouse30 @lonelyspouse30]

Loving with zero expectation of that love being returned gets tougher as the years pass. #marriage

[lonelyspouse30 @lonelyspouse30]

I wanna be loved by you...

[lonelyspouse30 @lonelyspouse30]

I'm so unimportant to my wife that she doesn't even realize I'm unimportant to her. #fml

[lonelyspouse30 @lonelyspouse30]

Astronomer says my wife should actually be a Scorpio http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/41058456 That's a joke!

[lonelyspouse30 @lonelyspouse30]

My wife's unconditional love might be mine once I meet many, ever-changing, unattainable conditions.

[lonelyspouse30 @lonelyspouse30]

My wife told me today she is "a week late." My first thought: is she cheating on me? #marriage #fail

[lonelyspouse30 @lonelyspouse30]

When love is a one-way street, eventually you'll end up in a bad neighborhood.

[lonelyspouse30 @lonelyspouse30]

There seems to be a distinct difference between committing to get married and committing to being married.

[lonelyspouse30 @lonelyspouse30]

Promises: the gifts you meant to give me, but never did.

[lonelyspouse30 @lonelyspouse30]

A stone in the desert will radiate warmth, therefore my wife is less affectionate than a stone.

[lonelyspouse30 @lonelyspouse30]

My wife's mantra for getting things done? "Why do now what you can put off until later." Sadly, that seems to include me.

[lonelyspouse30 @lonelyspouse30]

"Looking back on her failed marriage, it struck her that a bed might not be made solely for sleeping after all."

[lonelyspouse30 @lonelyspouse30]

BP announced this morning that they installed a wedding ring around the leaking pipe and it quit putting out.

[lonelyspouse30 @lonelyspouse30]

I'm so unimportant that my wife doesn't even realize I'm unimportant to her.

[lonelyspouse30 @lonelyspouse30]

"If I get killed in an accident, you remarry, and you finally decide to have a sex life, I'm coming back to haunt you."

[lonelyspouse30 @lonelyspouse30]

I think my wife would rather get a divorce than have a sex life. #marriage #fail

[lonelyspouse30 @lonelyspouse30]

I'd love to have a sex life, but I'm married and am trying to avoid infidelity.

[lonelyspouse30 @lonelyspouse30]

The sleeping room: where dreams go to die.

[lonelyspouse30 @lonelyspouse30]

"I like a good beer buzz..." anytime of day, actually. #sherylcrow #drinkingnow