luke

clown

[luke @look_alert]

girls will say, "I like everything but country," but freak out when I turn off the radio n start singing the what's new scooby doo theme song (bop). sorry didn't realize that was country smh

[dmg04 @A_dmg04]

Guardians make their own fate

[horse dentist @equine__dentist]

don’t invite me to the function unless this is the vibe

[Louise Jensen Duffy (also Ernest Jensen) @LouiseWeebe]

You’re listening to Sisyphus FM, the home of non-stop rock.

[luke @look_alert]

when you ask a self proclaimed fruit fan what their favorite apple is and they hit you w a color

[Mr. Chau @Srirachachau]

This is how Orson Welles would drunkenly sell it

[Mitya @Discollaborator]

Starting to get a little uncomfortable with how many slow panning shots to my closet door there've been today

[Flappr @flapprdotnet]

Pope Leo is going to dye Trevi Fountain green for St. Patrick's Day.

[luke @look_alert]

have we tried convincing them measles make you gay or something

[luke @look_alert]

wednesday afternoon guys know what I'm talkin about

[luke @look_alert]

red delicious... this is either a genius setup to an insanity plea or we're looking at a truly twisted individual

[luke @look_alert]

day 10 with no iron. I can't believe I was throwing away the lint from the dryer until now. a homegrown delicacy. my skin is a beautiful transparent red akin to a polished ruby

[luke @look_alert]

I'm on an iron cleanse i saw online and I think I've stumbled upon something significant. big iron must be poisoning our food to draw our minds from our natural craving for drywall and hair

[luke @look_alert]

bartering with the banana merchant: do you take apple pay

[joe bro @jbromovies]

Taylor Swift going to get some milk from the market around the corner

[Paddington @paddingtonbear]

I think I'll try something new this weekend.

[Paddington @paddingtonbear]

Merry Christmas to you and all your loved ones.

[luke @look_alert]

TIL the electrolytes in gatorade are the same ones thomas edison made

[luke @look_alert]

memorized all my coworkers' shoes so when I'm in the stall next to someone and they unload something wild I can go, "let me guess... kevin?"