this is not maija

-colossal moron

[this is not maija @lookingformaija]

I like my hair like how I like my men, damaged & might break off at any moment

[helen @helen]

let’s be real the best invention of the last five years is not chatgpt. it’s nerds gummy clusters

[:( @mostnormalwoman]

Getting into male dominated fields like falling asleep on the couch

[georgie🌸 @dominicperignon]

caleb hearon saying “you’re in the sand box bitch. im at the gun store” is more important to me than anything mr beast has ever done

[Meg @megannn_lynne]

Was getting a Diet Dr. Pepper at Sheetz. Didn’t realize a man was waiting at the soda fountain behind me, so I said “Oh, I’m sorry,” & he replied “Honey, you never have to apologize for visiting The Doctor” & it does sort of feel like I encountered God in disguise.

[Zabby ♡ @Africanzabby]

4 sneezes in a row is clout chasing. wrap it up

[Josh @pj_sazz]

"I asked chatgpt" "I asked grok" well, all questions aside, I asked and you lied, and now my hands are tied

[erika @yeeeerika]

hey (with the intention of getting ice cream)

[★？♡ ✚！ @Guttergore1]

you ever see a man and youre like yeah i want him to be my wife

[Nugs @Nugjokes]

Diet Coke is just a fridge cigarette

[John Wicker Park @phonybone]

I’ve pooped in gas stations you wouldn’t even pee in

[this is not maija @lookingformaija]

@louysandclark she’s trying her best okay

[Debbie Downer @ANGELBABYBITTY]

Sorry I’m only attracted to men with a history of gay allegations