Marisa Lopez

Exceptionally average and also available spicy.

[Matt Bellassai @MattBellassai]

thinking about becoming gay in reality instead of just gay for attention like i have been

[Matt Bellassai @MattBellassai]

as a homosexual it gives me absolutely no pleasure to report that hot coffee is better for hangovers than iced coffee. this information makes me sick but it’s true

[Marisa Lopez @lopeztonite]

Where’s the lie tho

[John King @JohnKingCNN]

The GOAT. With a splash of Gronk.

[Camille Squires @CamilleSquires]

I hope Doug Emhoff’s project as second dude will be to convince men to finally go to therapy and stop ruining women’s lives

[out of context john mulaney @nocontxtmulaney]

the horse has now officially left the hospital

[Marisa Lopez @lopeztonite]

Did anyone else’s elementary school do fake presidential elections? We were literal children. We did not know what a government was. Our platforms were donkeys vs elephants. What the fuck was that

[Aaron Burdette @AaronBurdette]

can somebody please just toss a $25 Bass Pro Shop gift card into the crowd so these maniacs can start ripping each other apart

[Matt Bellassai @MattBellassai]

all calories i’ve consumed since tuesday are illegal and should NOT be counted

[John King @JohnKingCNN]

So many paths to 270 calories.

[Marisa Lopez @lopeztonite]

Nothing makes me chuckle harder than when the other CNN anchors gang up on and bully Rick Santorum

[Rebecca Myers @rebeccacmyers]

Tuned back into CNN to catch the best use of a semicolon so far

[Matt Bellassai @MattBellassai]

if you’re missing the debate, you can recreate it on your own by putting a fork and a fistful of rocks in the garbage disposal

[Marisa Lopez @lopeztonite]

My question is, what are the qualifications for the manager of the forest? #Debatenight

[Marisa Lopez @lopeztonite]

@FlatCokeTheory @_cinnamonro11_ @_gghuff Incredibly sorry to hear this has happened to you. It’s not a man or woman thing. No one should have their ability to choose taken away. But according to your own argument, perhaps you should wear clothes that make woman less horny? (I hope you hear how ridiculous that sounds)

[Marisa Lopez @lopeztonite]

@FlatCokeTheory @_cinnamonro11_ @_gghuff Read the comments here,does it look like any of the women who have shared a story were dressed to “motivate rapists?” I sincerely hope something like this never happens to a woman in your life that you care about. Perhaps you wouldn’t suggest she could have prevented it otherwise

[Marisa Lopez @lopeztonite]

@FlatCokeTheory @_cinnamonro11_ @_gghuff Do you think being a living human being is going to make murderers more or less likely to want to kill you? You can’t be serious here. A rapist is a rapist regardless of whether or not the victim is in a bikini or a potato sack.

[Ashley Parker @AshleyRParker]

Anxiety Coffee. Feels about right.