al

[al @lordoftringpops]

he’s an 8 but supports the overturn of roe v wade

[al @lordoftringpops]

my new goal as a barista is to perfect penis shaped latte art

[al @lordoftringpops]

thanks to miss taylor alison swift i’d have a whole 10 minutes to get out of vecna’s lair

[al @lordoftringpops]

it does not make sense to me that 2-7pm is five hours but 7-2pm is not

[al @lordoftringpops]

i am very religious. jesus. bible verse. that’s right i’m a good person. boy am i ever. what a good person. yes that’s a bible verse in my bio. i am not ashamed. in fact i’m outspoken. that’s how much of good person i am. john 3:16 🙏🏻

[al @lordoftringpops]

you cook with two garlic cloves ONCE then suddenly your house, you hands, your clothes all smell like garlic for days

[al @lordoftringpops]

red flag is friends who don’t tag u with photo creds when u take fire pics for them

[al @lordoftringpops]

actually,,,i DO want to sit still look pretty

[al @lordoftringpops]

we’re in a new year and you’re still drinking cow milk?? when OAT exists??

[al @lordoftringpops]

My new year’s resolution is to not care about what other people think about me, and i’m making this post to let you all know that I DONT CARE. so pls do not like this post bc i don’t need your validation. but if you do like, i still WONT CARE.

[al @lordoftringpops]

is using the handicap stall ableist if ur claustrophobic

[al @lordoftringpops]

i feel like i used to be funny and then i took a break from twitter to do some self healing and came back a plain jane

[al @lordoftringpops]

gay gator. gatoraides.

[al @lordoftringpops]

so you’re telling me i can put my airpods through the wash and still work but if i try swimming with them theyll “break”? apple is lying

[al @lordoftringpops]

i’m not weird in an “i sing loudly and goofy in the shower” way… i’m weird in an “i want to taxidermy my cat’s paw like a lucky rabbits foot” way

[al @lordoftringpops]

@ilovesoup69 yeah

[al @lordoftringpops]

just want someone to vigorously debate with me whether edward or alice would win at chess and why

[al @lordoftringpops]

i wish cats knew it was an accident when you kicked them bc they walked in ur path :(

[al @lordoftringpops]

lovingly remindibg my friends not to do drugs but the ‘without me’ at the end is silent

[al @lordoftringpops]

ugh i cant stand having to keeping adding and removing hearts from guys names. can someone please just arrange a marriage for me at this point.