lorenz

as long as you like you, I like you

[lorenz @lorenzneumayr]

Do NOT drink expired milk just because it doesn't smell/taste bad. Instant regret :(

[Ninja Sex Party @ninjasexparty]

HOW DO YOU TURN OFF CAPS LOCK, ASKING FOR A FRIEND

[Wilbur Soot @WilburSoot]

When I step on a bee

[lorenz @lorenzneumayr]

@Marie_Lu Is there a way for us to send you the whole thing?

[lorenz @lorenzneumayr]

@Marie_Lu My friends and I loved your book Legend so much that we made a movie about it! Here is the trailer

[lorenz @lorenzneumayr]

#lorenz

[lorenz @lorenzneumayr]

Y'all I'm trending rn

[lorenz @lorenzneumayr]

ɐᴉlɐɹʇsn∀ uᴉ ʞɔnʇs ɯ’I dlǝɥ sʎnפ

[lorenz @lorenzneumayr]

What kind of music do windmills love?

They're big metal fans!

[lorenz @lorenzneumayr]

I have good friends

[lorenz @lorenzneumayr]

@OnePlus_USA @McLarenAuto @TMobile #OnePlusUpgrade

[lorenz @lorenzneumayr]

Happy Thanksgiving 2019 🦃

[Ninja Sex Party @ninjasexparty]

Remember: to a piece of shit, “shitposting” is just “posting”

[lorenz @lorenzneumayr]

burger or bergur?

[lorenz @lorenzneumayr]

Man, I have the best friends. Thank you to everyone I've ever known over the years, you're all amazing.

[lorenz @lorenzneumayr]

I'm hoping if I sing Christmas songs, it'll trick me into thinking the weather isn't so damn hot

[lorenz @lorenzneumayr]

Before and after. Happy Birthday Mama!

[lorenz @lorenzneumayr]

@_dr_danasaurs_ Get off twitter and do your hw

[lorenz @lorenzneumayr]

flossing like crazy the night before going to the dentist

[lorenz @lorenzneumayr]

@CheesySteven they operated so hard, I became the hospital

[lorenz @lorenzneumayr]

L'Hospital? More like Lorenz Hospital