𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐥𝐨𝐭𝐭𝐞 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ

22 | edtwt | 🧸🪐

[𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐥𝐨𝐭𝐭𝐞 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ @lottecal]

i’m screaming

[yasmina ᢉ𐭩⋆˚࿔ @yasminacals]

my fridge for this week’s high res ₊˚⊹
#edtwt

[𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐥𝐨𝐭𝐭𝐞 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ @lottecal]

strange how my bulimia became alcoholism

[𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐥𝐨𝐭𝐭𝐞 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ @lottecal]

i’ve been working out with my boyfriend (+deficit) so that when i get back to my lw i’ll be toned as hell BUT i bought gym spandex and my butt looks soooo good?! like usually it’s one of my biggest insecurities but omg not today

[𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐥𝐨𝐭𝐭𝐞 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ @lottecal]

crazy that this is what i looked like 6 months ago… i need to get back to that #3dtwt #edtwt

[𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐥𝐨𝐭𝐭𝐞 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ @lottecal]

also i think my roommate has caught on that i omad every day and she has probably started doing that because she’s lost a lot of weight recently

[𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐥𝐨𝐭𝐭𝐞 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ @lottecal]

we were tipsy and my boyfriend casually grabbed my ankle and his fingers fit around with space 🤭🤭

[𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐥𝐨𝐭𝐭𝐞 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ @lottecal]

i dont know where i am going with this but i know i want to be strong and i want my athleticism to return, and i know what that takes from me to achieve. but at the same time i dont think i will turn in that direction until i reach 99lbs for real. I DONTN KNOW GOOD NIGHT.

[𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐥𝐨𝐭𝐭𝐞 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ @lottecal]

okay i havent been on here in a hot second but i genuinely dont remember the last time i binged i cant even remember the last time i ate more than 1000cals in a day even though i am high all the time. I hit 103lbs/46.7kg... i am 1.7kg away from my ugw?? its a strange feeling

[𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐥𝐨𝐭𝐭𝐞 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ @lottecal]

sometimes i feel like i have allowed my 3ating d1sorder to become so normal in my life that i found a way to be happy around it, to convince myself i am healed when i continue to starve myself. It just hurt less as each day passed and now i can barely stomach a few bites

[𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐥𝐨𝐭𝐭𝐞 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ @lottecal]

i am 7lbs away from 99lbs which is such a petty number

[𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐥𝐨𝐭𝐭𝐞 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ @lottecal]

nsfw
my boyfriend ran his fingers down my spine while we were fcking and said it felt like he was touching my skeleton and he didn’t mean it in any particular way but shit it triggered me like crazy

[𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐥𝐨𝐭𝐭𝐞 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ @lottecal]

was* not era wtf

[𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐥𝐨𝐭𝐭𝐞 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ @lottecal]

i had to just block a bunch of football accs that followed me wtf

[𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐥𝐨𝐭𝐭𝐞 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ @lottecal]

is it just me but the *emotional/mental* peak of my ed was not when i was at my lw. i’m pretty sure i was 6-7kgs heavier than rn but today i don’t even bother counting calories i just assume i eat less than 800 every day and i am way happier not using 3dtwt LMAO

[𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐥𝐨𝐭𝐭𝐞 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ @lottecal]

back to bmi 17.5 after literal months of binging

[𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐥𝐨𝐭𝐭𝐞 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ @lottecal]

getting my weed addiction under control did wonders for my ed