lo 🦥

💍: @mmatthews09 dog mom. college football. plant lady. science nerd.

[lo 🦥 @lottmer]

20 weeks sober 💙✅

[lo 🦥 @lottmer]

@morgann_lewiss @KatieFlinn10 and I always end up talking politics drunk in Ubers 😂

[lo 🦥 @lottmer]

"I want to watch you slurp an onion" 🧅

[lo 🦥 @lottmer]

@MMATTHEWS09 @codyblurr Wow so sweet can't wait to hear the other 7.

[lo 🦥 @lottmer]

Is it even an hour drive in the car with your mom if you don't have intense debates about heaven and religion? 😂🫠

[cary @brokebackstan]

saw this nativity scene made of doors and they gave mary a doggy door WHYYYY WHY WHY

[lo 🦥 @lottmer]

I could never.

[lo 🦥 @lottmer]

You can't work in a boutique in a small town unless you really like to take mirror pictures.

[lo 🦥 @lottmer]

I wonder how many car crashes are caught on camera now because people are recording themselves 😂

[lo 🦥 @lottmer]

I feel bad for texting and driving sometimes but y'all be filming whole ass TikTok's while driving down the road 🥴🤔

[lo 🦥 @lottmer]

If you're not following Martha Stewart's Instagram, you're missing out.

[lo 🦥 @lottmer]

@MMATTHEWS09 You didn't cough once in your sleep last night though 🙌🏼🙌🏼

[lo 🦥 @lottmer]

@codyblurr 😂😂 totally normal. Im still scared and I've been doing it for 4 months 🫠

[lo 🦥 @lottmer]

@KatieFlinn10 Only when I'm under the influence 😂

[lo 🦥 @lottmer]

Katie are you still there? I can never tell, but I hope you are. 🏆

[lo 🦥 @lottmer]

Update: my baby is still cute. Scared he's reached his peak though

[lo 🦥 @lottmer]

Just a reminder that I have the cutest baby :)

[lo 🦥 @lottmer]

Hahaha @MMATTHEWS09 asking our server at daysis what his favorite song was by the band on his shirt and he didn't know 😂🫠

[lo 🦥 @lottmer]

My act would just be me reading my Twitter drafts and maybe an occasional mention of my childhood traumas.

[lo 🦥 @lottmer]

I told my husband if I was in a talent show, I would perform stand up comedy. He acted truly shocked and that's when i realized that he doesn't think im funny....

[lo 🦥 @lottmer]

Noodle will know every word of "man I feel like a woman" simply for street cred