Claire Lou

dead in$ide

Instagram @cruella_de_chill (talking to you Eric Andre(

[Claire Lou @loustoker]

What tf is this.

[Claire Lou @loustoker]

I was just like "oh I forgot to pack in my pepper spray" then I remembered I'm going to sea point and they have a fucking gym on the beach

[Claire Lou @loustoker]

U dumb baby stop crying. If u knew about the rapidly rising cost of living you'd know ur not special and we're all shitting our pants

[Claire Lou @loustoker]

Stop crying u dumb baby you can't even understand that capitalism is tearing at the seams and you're never going to have financial stability

[Claire Lou @loustoker]

Fucking babies crying like they're having a quarter infancy crisis when in actual fact they just haven't sucked a boob in an hour.

[Claire Lou @loustoker]

Why are u crying u dumb baby? Can't pay off your baby loans with you shitty minimum wage baby job? Fuck you.

[Claire Lou @loustoker]

I've been working in an ice cream shop for two weeks and I already have to visit the dentist urgently

[mike ginn @shutupmikeginn]

I just asked a waste management dude, "bet you see some wild shit, huh?" And without hesitation he responds "2 rats boning in a McFlurry"

[Claire Lou @loustoker]

The blame is placed squarely on the shoulders of God

[Claire Lou @loustoker]

I just googled rectal prolapse and if you think God loves us you should google it too.

[Claire Lou @loustoker]

I Am Legend is the most stressful movie ever made

[Claire Lou @loustoker]

Turns out I numbered correctly and 6 didn't go through. 11 soul destroying tweets

[Claire Lou @loustoker]

6. People totally understand why you're insecure and neurotic

[Claire Lou @loustoker]

Those were my 10 most soul destroying tweets I've ever written but also a gr8 insight in2 my hollow and unfulfilling life

[Claire Lou @loustoker]

10. When u complain about being ugly ppl will reinforce your good qualities like your intelligence and sense of humour

[Claire Lou @loustoker]

9. U never have to worry if someone only wants you for your looks. It's far more likely that they are going after you bc ur an easy target

[Claire Lou @loustoker]

8. People are far more likely to take your mental illness seriously bc it's pretty obvious you don't have much going for you

[Claire Lou @loustoker]

7. (misnumbered the last one) you're at peace with the soul whittling loneliness u will experience for the rest of your life

[Claire Lou @loustoker]

7. No one will try to comfort you when ur upset by telling you you're pretty and lovely.