If you’re someone who likes depth you’re more prone to attracting avoidants. They'll bring intellect & at first it'll feel like you're compatible. Until you realise you're engaging with a mind but the heart is in lockdown. Remember one sees you. The other just studies you.
The way we define, perform, & assign meaning to trust is heavily shaped by society, culture, family systems, religion, relationships, & personal experience. Different cultures, communities, & even households teach completely different expectations….
They called my sisters name @ her college graduation & handed her that degree, she turned 2 us in da crowd hit her shit, & threw up gang signs 😭😩 That moment really solidified how beautiful duality of life is. Rooted in where we come from but still accomplishing shit
🤌🏾
Idk, maybe mature trust isn’t:
“I know you won’t hurt me.”
Maybe it’s:
“I know I can observe reality clearly, respond appropriately, & protect myself if you do.”
That makes trust less blind & more grounded.
I also think trust is layered:
You can trust intentions & not emotional maturity. Trust love & not consistency. Trust someone wont intentionally hurt you while also recognizing they can. Trust yourself to survive disappointment more than you trust others never to disappoint you.
Your brain starts asking: Why would I hand someone power they could misuse? Why should I emotionally invest before outcomes are proven? Why gamble w/attachment?” & those questions are actually reasonable.