LoveHowTo

Guaranteed verbatim quotes from dating profiles I've encountered.

[LoveHowTo @lovehowto]

"I can br refer to as the best man on earth if you reading this can agree to become the woman to spend the rest of my life with."
#huh? #OKC #OKCupid #gobbledygook

[LoveHowTo @lovehowto]

"I have a romantic interest in London and it's my intention to return to her. She has told me 'what happens in L.A. stays in L.A.'"
#OKC #onlinedating #OKCupid

[LoveHowTo @lovehowto]

How about deleting #FakeAccounts from #Tinder and #OnlineDating sites? They're the majority at this point.

[LoveHowTo @lovehowto]

I'm biologically 64, look more like 54, dress like 44, ambitious like 34, energetic like 24, adventurist like 14 and curious like 4!
#Tinder

[LoveHowTo @lovehowto]

Hiya Watha... I'm that weirdo everyone on here keeps talking about.
#Tinder #TinderFail

[LoveHowTo @lovehowto]

I am open to meet anyone from planet earth, so if this is not your home planet, I'm definitely not interested.
#Tinder #TinderFail

[LoveHowTo @lovehowto]

I am ready to love and hook up with a woman for a better future for the rest of my life. I wish myself good luck.
#Tinder #TinderFail

[LoveHowTo @lovehowto]

If you have to make me wait to get back to me about your schedule then I am not interested in dating you
#Tinder
#TinderFail

[LoveHowTo @lovehowto]

3weeks is my maximum courting window.Don't expect me to BS around with you after that unless we have sexually bonded
#Tinder #TinderFail

[LoveHowTo @lovehowto]

"I want a mate not a date, a friend not a fiend, a lover not a loather and inspiration not perspiration."
#Tinder #NotAsCleverAsYouThink

[LoveHowTo @lovehowto]

Back on #Tinder, for research only. (Yeah, right.)
#MemoReceived
Every man has a dog photo

[LoveHowTo @lovehowto]

"I'm a well educated man looking for someone who is careing understanding and trust worthy."
3 #GrammarErrors
#OnlineDating #Fail

[LoveHowTo @lovehowto]

"About you: Easy on the eyes, curves that would make an Italian sports car jealous, and as cool as the other side of the pillow"
Me: #BS

[LoveHowTo @lovehowto]

#ScammerAlert
"Generally, I like everything providing that there is no dislikes of mine infringing on the likes"
In 1.5 million #profiles

[LoveHowTo @lovehowto]

"I'm finally again ready to think long term. I don't do Facebook and don't know how to add photos"
Sorry, #PhotoAMust, #Tinder #Luddite

[LoveHowTo @lovehowto]

How come he claims to be "Swiping in LA" but his location shows as Lekki? (It's in #Nigeria, I #Googled.)
#DatingScam #TinderFail

[LoveHowTo @lovehowto]

#Match #Scammer:
"Hi, I would love to gain better acquaintance with you....i don't come in here often,we can communicate bette via phone"

[LoveHowTo @lovehowto]

"Is vaping smoking? LTR or death!"
It is and #PrepareForDeath.
#TinderFail

[LoveHowTo @lovehowto]

"Are you around? Let's get something on the schedule!"
#YesAndNo
#TinderFail

[LoveHowTo @lovehowto]

Message from #Match:
"CrazyEyes just made you his favorite!" Ooh, and we both "dig dining out."
#SoulmateAlert?
#NotThatDesperate